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His arm tightens around my waist, and without skipping a beat, he lines himself up with my entrance. As I slowly sink down over him, his lips come to mine, kissing me deeply. Tears sting my eyes as the closeness somehow sews the shattered remains of my heart back together, breathing oxygen into the dark depth of my tortured soul, and filling me with the kind of light I’ve been searching for since the day he left. With every kiss and caress, he makes me whole again.
“God, Rae,” he groans against my lips, and as I slowly begin to rock my hips while moving up and down his impressive length, we both suck in a desperate gasp.
His fingers twine through mine, and I hold them with everything I have as he slowly puts me back together. He doesn’t stop kissing me, even when I taste my tears on my tongue, even when the intensity becomes too much I can barely breathe.
My hips jolt, riding him the way I should have always been able to, and as his lips drop to my neck, I throw my head back. My orgasm crashes through me, and I come hard on his cock.
My pussy spasms around him, wildly convulsing as the pleasure rocks through my body, taking me to new heights. Ezra comes with me, holding me tight and grunting as he finishes, but I don’t stop moving, slowly rocking my hips and grinding against him as I take what I need.
It’s too much.
Too intense.
How did I never know it could be like this?
Ezra catches my lips in his, and as I ride out the rest of my high, he kisses me deeply until we crash against the ground, barely missing his acoustic guitar.
He holds me tight as we come down from our high, and not a moment later, he reaches up to the bed and pulls the blanket off, covering us from head to toe.
I stare up at the ceiling as I catch my breath, living in a world of pure elation, never so happy in my life. “Holy shit,” I breathe as my fingers dance across his chest. I lay tucked into his side on the floor, bathing in the soft moonlight that shines through the window. “This is how it should have always been,” I tell him as the raw emotions of finally getting to be close to him in this way begin to overwhelm me. “That’s how I always pictured our first time.”
“Yeah?” he questions, his voice like a deep rumble that speaks directly to my soul.
A stupid smile pulls across my lips. “Mm-hmm. Isn’t that what you thought? That there would be some big special moment? Don’t get me wrong, the pool in Paris and backstage in Madrid were amazing, but this was different.”
Ezra drops a kiss to my temple as his hand snakes down my body to grab my ass. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Rae, but I have gone to great lengths not to picture how good we’d be together. You were such a temptation. You have no idea how many times I almost snapped and did something you were too young to have any business doing.”
I scoff and push up onto my elbow to meet those dark eyes. “And to think I was going out of my way to try and seduce you. It was driving me insane that you wouldn’t make a move. I wanted it so badly. Just one touch. I would have settled for a simple boob graze by the end, but you were always so careful. I was starting to wonder if you were even sexually attracted to me at all.”
His head snaps toward mine. “The fuck?”
I give him a blank stare. Surely he knows what I’m talking about. “You’re kidding me, right? You didn’t even notice?”
“Oh, I noticed, but I thought I was imagining it,” he tells me. “When I was eighteen and nineteen, all I could think about was touching you. It drove me wild with need. The need to taste you . . . fuck, Rae. I had to pull away because I didn’t want to do something you weren’t ready for.”
“You’re an idiot. I was so ready for it. I was practically begging you for it,” I tell him. “I don’t know how many different ways I could say, ‘Ezra, I need you to put a dick in me.’ It was getting exhausting.”
He gapes at me as though suddenly going over every moment we’ve ever spent together, trying to see it through my eyes. “You’re lying.”
“Nope.”
“Did you say it in those exact words? You know, sometimes men can’t take hints.”
“Did I scream at you to shove your giant dick in me? No,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I didn’t want to seem desperate. But I laid down those hints all over the place. You were just too blind to see what was right in front of your eyes. I mean, shit. How many times does a girl have to press up against you before you shove your tongue down her throat?”
“Bullshit.”
I shake my head and settle back into his side, a stupid smile across my face. “You know the night that Lenny and those execs came to see you in that old bar?” He nods and I go on. “I had this grand plan. That was going to be the night we finally had sex.”
“No,” he says, now the one pushing up on his elbow to meet my stare. He shakes his head, clearly remembering that night very differently. “I went out to some bullshit club.”
“Yeah,” I scoff. “I’m more than aware, but remember before that? You and I were supposed to spend the night together? But then your stupid ass bailed and broke my horny little heart, and instead of coming to the lake with me and spending the night buried deep inside of me, you chose to fuck around with the boys.”
He collapses back to the ground, his hands dragging down his face. “Fuck, Rae. I had no idea,” he says. “Ax said something in the car about you looking upset, but I thought he was talking shit, and by the time we got home, you weren’t there. We had to call you and then you came.”
I nod. “Right before that gig, that was the night my father first tried to touch me. I’d dropped him with a knee to the balls and didn’t want to go home, so I slept in your car at the lake until I knew it was safe to come home.”
He lets out a heavy breath, finally understanding why I did all the things I did back then. “Fuck.”
