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Ezra strides in behind him, and as he scans the diner to find me, a guilty expression crosses his face. He knows I’m disappointed, but he also knows I’m not about to say anything.
They make their way toward me, weaving through the other tables until finally taking a seat, and I watch in suspicion as they squeeze into the same side, both of them facing me as though preparing for something. There’s a grim expression on both of their faces, and just like that, the excitement about my new tattoo vanishes.
“Just tell me,” I say, my heart racing a million miles an hour.
The boys look at one another as though silently arguing over who’s going to break the news, and my mind races through the worst-case scenarios. Someone’s dead. Maybe Dad got into a car accident and is slowly fading away. Maybe he’s finally pissed off the wrong person and they’ve put him into the hospital. That wouldn’t be such a bad thing because then I’d be able to live freely in my own home without walking on eggshells to avoid his drunk tantrums. He’s never put his hands on me, but I know that has a lot to do with the way he avoids Ax and Ezra. I feel it in my bones, the way he looks at me like I’m weak and insignificant, and the sooner I get out of here, the better.
“We, uhhh . . . We had our big meeting with the label,” Ezra starts as though I might have forgotten, clearly not realizing it’s been on my mind all day.
“Yeah?” I say, a little confused. Judging by the looks on their faces, I was certain they were about to hit me with bad news, but nothing bad could have come from their meeting. They shot to superstardom overnight. It could only be moving forward for them. “And?”
Ezra cringes, so Axel picks up where he left off. “And,” he starts, sounding just as hesitant as Ezra had. “They’re so impressed with how we’re doing that they want to send us on tour.”
“WHAT?” I screech, flying out of my seat, my eyes widening in surprise as the overwhelming excitement claims me. “Holy shit. That’s incredible.”
“Yeah,” Ezra says a little awkwardly, watching me far too closely. “It’s great news. We’re really pumped for it. They have some great ideas for how it’s going to go and have already started working out which cities and countries we’ll visit, but it’ll be a lot of work. They want us to start rehearsals straight away.”
“Well, yeah,” I say, dropping back into my seat. “Seems only natural, right?”
“Definitely,” Ax responds. “I don’t know what kind of places we’ll be performing in, but I can guarantee it’ll be a shitload bigger than the bars and clubs we’re used to. We’re going to have to spend every waking minute perfecting our set.”
I let out a heavy breath, needing just a moment for it to sink in. “You have no idea how happy I am for you guys,” I say as Ezra smiles and reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. His touch is electrifying, and if my brother weren’t here, I know I’d already be in his arms. Hell, with this level of excitement, I probably would have kissed him, tongue and all, and surely he would have kissed me back. “But what’s the catch?”
The boys cringe and share another glance as I start to become frustrated. “Just tell me,” I mutter. “You’re both sitting there looking like someone just shoved a sour lemon up your asses, and the longer you don’t tell me, the harder I want to smack you.”
Ezra lets out a heavy breath and adjusts himself in the booth as he holds my stare with nothing but pure devastation in his dark eyes. “Because this is our first tour, they want to overlook our rehearsals, and in order to do that,” he says slowly. “We have to relocate to LA.”
I’m taken by surprise, and I sit up a little straighter. “Oh, umm . . . okay. That’s not such a huge deal, is it?” I ask. “I mean, it’ll be a lot to organize on short notice, but switching schools shouldn’t be too bad. I’ll get a transfer and enroll at one of the schools over there.”
“Rae,” Axel says, his voice softening. “It’s not that easy.”
“Of course it is.”
“Rehearsals are only going to be a few months, and then we’ll be on tour, jetting from one place to another. You won’t be able to do school that way. You need stability if you plan to go to college, and following us from city to city isn’t it,” he says. “Plus, you’re still a minor, Rae. I’d have to get Dad to sign off on everything and somehow become your guardian, and you know how Dad is. That’s not going to happen.”
“Wait,” I say, pulling my hand back from Ezra’s. “What are you saying?”
Ezra catches my stare as I feel tears already welling in my eyes. “You have to stay here, Rae,” he says as I shake my head. “Your whole life is here. School, friends, home. I can’t take you away from that just to follow us around. I won’t do it. You have a whole life ahead of you.”
“No,” I breathe, pulling right back, my chest heaving with gasping breaths as the ugly realization of what a life here with Dad would mean for me when the boys are no longer here to deflect his anger. “No. You can’t leave me here. I’m coming with you.”
“And what about college, Rae?” Axel asks. “You’ll never even see the admissions office if you don’t graduate high school, and on the road with us, that’s not an option.”
I shoot to my feet, the tears already rolling down my cheeks as I look between the two people who mean the most to me in this cruel world, the two who are talking crazy and saying they’re about to abandon me here. “You can’t do this. Please. Please don’t leave me behind,” I cry, waiting for one of them to realize how sick this joke is and tell me they’re lying. “I swear, I’ll figure it out. I’ll find a way to graduate. I’m sure there’s online education or, or . . . I don’t know. People get their GEDs outside of school all the time. I can do that.”
Axel hangs his head in his hands as Ezra gets up from the table and makes his way around to me. He grips my arms, pulling me in close before winding them around me. “I’m sorry, Rae. You have no fucking idea how sorry I am, but we’re trying to think of what’s best for your future,” he tells me. “Believe me, I fucking hate this. The idea of being apart from you is killing me, but the life we’re about to walk into, you didn’t sign up for that.”
I look up at him, the tears rolling faster than ever. “Don’t,” I say, my voice breaking over the lump in my throat. “Don’t break us like this.”
Devastation flashes in his dark eyes, but I see no hint of hesitation. He’s made up his mind. He’s leaving me here in this bullshit town, leaving me at the mercy of a hateful drunk. For just a moment, I consider telling them how much Dad scares me when they aren’t around, but if they knew . . . If they heard the way he talks to me, they’d never get on that plane. They’d never accept this tour, and they’d never get the things they’ve worked all these years to achieve.
“It won’t be that long,” he promises me. “A year, maybe. Eighteen months. Then I’ll be home.”
I exhale, my every emotion overwhelming me in that one breath, and I pull out of his arms, shrugging him off when he reaches for me again, not knowing a single word to say.
And with that, I turn and run out of the diner as the agonizing sobs tear from the back of my throat.
23
