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“Yeah, alright,” Dylan says. “I’ll talk to Ezra and make sure he’s sober enough to start rehearsals tomorrow. Knowing him, it’s bound to be a fucked-up night after that meeting.”
“Okay. Keep his ass out of the media. The last thing we need is another fucking scandal right before announcing the commencement of the tour.”
“I’ve got it, man.”
And with that, their voices fade away, leaving me here with nothing but my internal torture, desperately wishing there was some way to make it all . . . disappear.
10
Raleigh
14 YEARS OLD
The band plays as I sit cross-legged on the couch that Axel and Ezra picked up off the side of the street. I was hesitant to sit on it for the first six months. The couch is old and falling apart, and it came with a pungent stink to it, but after Mom got sick of staring at the stains every time she walked into the garage, she finally hit it with the carpet shampooer and suddenly it was good as new. That didn’t stop me from laying a sheet over it first.
My laptop rests against my knees as I do my thing, working on the design of the guys’ first flyer for their upcoming gig. It’s nothing astronomical, just a forty-five-minute set at one of our local bars that offer live music, but it’s their first real stepping stone, and since the moment we heard the news, it’s been guns blazing around here.
Every spare moment, the guys practice. If they’re not at school, they’re right here, and I’m not going to lie, I don’t hate it. I know technically I’m not in the band, but I might as well be. I’ve been right here since day one. I know their songs just as well as they do, know all the ins and outs, know all the drama that’s going on behind the scenes, and honestly, the drama isn’t that great. They really need to work on that if they intend to be rockstars.
Axel is too focused on the band to worry about having a girlfriend. Rock and Dylan are the manwhores of the group. They tend to have random girls show up during practice who think they’re about to become the apple of the boys’ eyes. As for Ezra . . . Well, he’s somewhat focused on me.
God, just the thought of it makes my cheeks flame.
Since day one, Ezra has been at the very front of my brain. I’m so aware of him it’s ridiculous. When he walks into a room, I don’t just see it, I feel it. When he brushes past me, my skin burns from his touch. When he looks at me, my heart explodes into a million tiny Ezra-shaped pieces. Sometimes when it’s just the two of us, he will drape his arm over my shoulder and gently press a kiss to my temple, and I swear I could fly.
I’m in love.
Scratch that. I’m not just in love. I’m head over heels, unbearably falling for a boy who I’m not sure is even okay for me to want. He’s seventeen now, and no matter the age difference, I always feel like some dumb kid in comparison. Yet, when he looks at me, I swear he feels something too.
Maybe I’m insane. He’s the most gorgeous boy I’ve ever met. Girls are always falling at his feet, and that’s before they’ve heard him sing. He could have anyone he wants, yet whenever I’m in the room, it’s my stare he seeks out.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s never actually said that I’m anything more than just his best friend’s little sister. He’s never touched me or kissed me for real. He’s never done anything that warrants me believing there could be something between us, but I feel it.
When he looks at me, it’s not just a passing gaze, it’s a deep, longing stare that has a million messages passing between us, and it’s everything to me. The second our gazes collide, there’s a connection that’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt, and I don’t ever want to let it go. When he’s not here, I feel cold, and when his mom insists on family weekends out of town, my soul physically aches, and while I’ve never found the guts to tell him that, I think he knows.
Who am I kidding? He’s Ezra Knight, of course he knows.
Trying to keep my attention focused on the flyer, I put on the finishing details, adding the location and time of their gig before holding my laptop out and looking at it from a distance. The boys plan to print at least five hundred of these and basically throw them from the top of the stairwell at their school like a scene out of a teen movie.
Truth be told, I think it’s overkill. The bar isn’t that big. There’s no way they’re going to fit more than a hundred people in there, but if they’re able to pull a crowd, which I have no doubt they will, they’ll be invited back again. It’s a no-brainer that the guys want to go all out on this.
After deciding the flyer is as perfectly brilliant as it’s ever going to be, I rest back against the couch and wait for the boys to finish their song while getting lost in the sound of Ezra’s voice. It’s my favorite thing to do. Every day I sit right here to do my homework. It’s unofficially become my spot, plus it has the best vantage spot to watch Ezra without it being completely obvious. Yet, every time I look at him, his gaze automatically comes to mine as if he feels my stare the way I feel his.
And right now, it’s no different.
The boys play together like a well-oiled machine. They never miss.
The four of them together are a force to be reckoned with, and it’s clear to every single one of us that this is going somewhere big. Even Mom and Dad have finally come around to the idea of it. Hell, sometimes I even catch Mom singing their songs while she bakes in the afternoons.
All of the guys like to write lyrics, but Ezra is the only one who’s had the guts to turn them into songs, and so far, every song he’s ever written has been incredible. In some of the songs, he talks about a girl who’s so far away, he’ll never be able to have her, and when I first heard the lyrics, it gutted me. I thought maybe there was someone else, another girl he had his heart set on before he moved here, but now, I’m not so sure.
Deciphering Ezra’s lyrics has officially become my full-time job.
The song is just coming to a close when Ezra turns and meets my stare, and as he sings the rest of the lyrics, he doesn’t dare look away. With every passing second, my cheeks flush, heating up until they’re burning hot. His dark eyes sparkle as they soften, and for just a moment, I’m lost within the dark depths of his stare.
My heart races as I fall even more in love with this mystical man, and as the song comes to a close and the room falls silent, a cocky grin stretches across his full lips.
God, what I wouldn’t give to kiss those lips.
