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I nodded.
“Okay.” She sat down next to me. “You have to tell Mike when he gets home.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I protested.
“You have to,” Macy said firmly.
“We just moved in two days ago. We haven’t even been on that many dates.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Macy argued. “He’s the father.”
“Yes, but what if he reacts badly?” I pouted.
“But he needs to know,” Macy persisted.
“Just give me a few days,” I bargained. “I’m still in shock.”
“It’s not my baby, and it’s not my relationship, but I’m speaking from experience—it’s not going to get any easier to tell him.”
“There’s something…” I didn’t know how to begin. I had promised Macy that I would be safe even when she cautioned me about moving in with a man I didn’t know. “There’s something about Mike that he’s not telling me. We went out to eat yesterday and ran into an old friend of his. They had this really weird vibe, like there was a whole lot they weren’t saying.”
Macy shrugged. “Could be anything. Could be a grudge over an old girlfriend.”
“I don’t think so.” I frowned, taking another spoonful of soup. “There was another thing. His dad made a comment about his ‘bad-boy past’ or something like that.”
“Hmm.” Macy considered the new information. “I could ask Dillon to do some snooping. He’s a wiz with computers. Or Jason is on the police force—he might be able to tell us something.”
I shook my head. “If it’s nothing and I launch a major investigation, he’ll never forgive me.”
Macy kept her thoughts to herself, whatever they were. I had dual experiences with failed relationships, but Macy and Lindsey gave me hope. Maybe in Mike I would find what they had found in their husbands. Maybe I could have my happily ever after too, if only I could put these nagging doubts to rest. How was I going to confront him about the future when there was so much I didn’t know about the past? It seemed like everything had changed in an instant, and my head was spinning under the pressure.
When Mike came home, he made a big deal out of taking care of me. He brought me a cup of chicken soup from the diner, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d already had my fill of soup. I re-evaluated the purchases I had made at the grocery store and decided I couldn’t trot out the pickles, no matter how much I wanted one. There wouldn’t be a bigger neon sign anywhere in the world pointing to a pregnant woman.
He wanted to kiss me passionately in the doorway, but I sidestepped it, accepting only a peck on the cheek. In addition to the soup, he had brought me flowers and a coloring book.
“What’s the coloring book for?” I asked.
“I thought if you were bored, you might want something to do.”
That was so kind, I didn’t have words for it. Instead of acting grateful, I took the gifts and ran to my own room. Shutting him out, I tried to get my bearings. Macy couldn’t be right—there had to be an easier time to tell him about the impending birth. I couldn’t possibly tell him now. It would break up our happy home for sure. I stayed in my room for as long as I could without seeming rude. When I went out again, Mike seemed put off.
I tried to explain my behavior by telling him I didn’t want to get him sick as well, but I could see he wasn’t buying it. We ate his takeout in front of the television, making snide remarks about the actors. It was fun, and I almost let my guard down. But when he tried to put an arm around me, I suddenly realized I was tired and excused myself for bed.
In the hallway, I paused. Which bed should I sleep in? I didn’t actually want to distance myself from him, I was just afraid of how serious this whole relationship had become. I finally decided that if I slept in my own bed, it would be too much of a snub. I brushed my teeth, put on my pajamas, and crawled under the covers. Thankfully, I was asleep long before Mike decided to join me. I woke late at night to find his hand across my belly, his eyes closed. Feeling safe, I allowed myself to drift back to dreamland. Maybe all this worry served no purpose. Maybe Mike and I could make it work no matter what the obstacles. I certainly hoped so and resolved to find my courage before too long and let him know he was about to become a father.
19
MIKE
There was no way around it—I ran the entire evening over in my head again and again. Something was definitely up with Tammy. The flowers I bought to cheer her up had made her cry, and she avoided being in the same room with me whenever she could. I was relieved to see she had chosen to sleep in my bed. If she hadn’t, I would have confronted her. There was definitely something more than a common cold that was wrong. But what could it be? We had only just moved in together. Surely, I hadn’t committed any grievous error in two short days.
I was at work, mulling over my predicament, when lunchtime arrived. I had been trying to ignore my break and thought I might just work through it. But the manager found me and told me to take my time. He didn’t want any problems with the labor department, and I didn’t blame him. I just didn’t want free time today.
With nothing to focus on, my thoughts immediately returned to Tammy. She had been physically sick this morning. I heard her throwing up in the bathroom. Yet, when I tried to convince her to take the day off, she assured me she was fine. And even though we had spent three nights in the same bed, we still hadn’t christened the house. I was beginning to wonder if I had made a mistake.
Tammy before the house was bubbly, funny, and loving. Tammy in the house was evasive and miserable. I decided that I would talk to her when I got home. Whatever I had done to offend her, I had to apologize for it. We could put it behind us and get back to the wild abandon we displayed at the lake.
I literally couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do on my break, so I found my feet wandering home. I opened the kitchen door and called out. Mom appeared from the living room, wearing her reading glasses.
