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I breathe deeply as I realize that they have no intention of following me to my car. They simply stand there and watch me cross the road. I give them one last glance before getting behind the wheel and driving off with a dramatic screech of the tires. It’s not until I reach the gates of my father’s estate that I finally pull over and let it all out.
In the darkness of the night, just out of the motion sensors’ reach, I cry and shudder, letting go of everything that I’ve kept bottled up for the past month, my tears flowing freely.
I was wrong to lash out at them, but they didn’t do a good job of meeting me halfway, either. What hurts me the most is the absence of a promise—the inability to address a possible future where we might actually be happy together.
I understand a lot of things, but I don’t have to accept that this could very well be all that it’s ever going to be.
15
Kai
We should’ve gone after her.
Three days have passed since we last saw Nadia. We know she’s okay; we’ve got eyes on her—former Navy buddies who look out for her twenty-four-seven. She is careful whenever she goes out, looking twice everywhere, ever vigilant. According to our boys, she doesn’t seem to be too cautious around civilians but appears skittish around any bikers she may cross paths with. Although I don’t like the idea of her being out by herself, I’m happy to hear that she’s being somewhat careful. Knowing our guys are always watching is a huge relief.
“We need to call her,” I tell Orion as we come out of the clubhouse.
It’s been a quiet week so far, but word on the street is that Colton is getting ready to make his move. We’ve tightened our ranks, and every Iron Horse—prospects included—is to carry a weapon at all times. Even the local PD is getting jittery about what might go down, but they are helpless against a club as powerful, resourceful, and connected as the Black Devils.
Today, Drake, Orion, and I are going to visit the Wolves and talk to Lucius about his old man, about his legacy and about what’ll happen to his club if he lets Colton get away with everything he’s done. We’re hoping for a positive outcome, but I’m not holding my breath. Colton has his hooks deep. The fear factor became key from the moment Lucius’ father washed up on the beaches of Balboa.
“We will as soon as we’re done with the meeting,” Orion says, looking over his bike before turning the key in the ignition. “I just want to get him on board first. We need a win here more than anything.”
“I worry about her,” Drake confesses. “Something is going on, and I’m not sure it’s connected to our current situation with Colton.”
“Listen, Nadia has every right to be frustrated with us,” Orion replies with a heavy sigh. “We know what’s ahead and what we may need to do, and we all agreed she can’t be a part of that. Until it’s over, we can’t give her false hope, either. Dammit, Drake, I want her just as much as you, just as much as Kai. But we cannot even imagine a future together unless Colton is out of the way.”
“Or six feet under,” I add.
I agree. I’m not a fan of killing people, but I will not allow Colton to threaten or get anywhere near Nadia, ever.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Drake is just as head over heels. Orion will burn the whole planet down for Nadia. We didn’t imagine it would evolve into this as quickly and as intensely as it did. But the Black Devils are a considerable risk, and the last thing any of us wants is for Nadia to get somehow dragged into this—or worse—spend the rest of her youth mourning us should we fail.
I would give anything to be able to be with her out in the open for everyone to see.
But Colton is a cold and calculating bastard. On top of that, he’s likely a certified psychopath. I saw what he does to the people who challenge him. And he’s about to come after us for precisely the same reason. We will lose everything we’ve worked so hard for—our club, our legacy, our future.
The Navy left us with deep scars on the inside, deeper than the physical injuries we sustained during our service. The things we’ve seen. The things we had to do. There’s no wiping that slate clean. When we came back to the States, we had a plan and we struggled to set it into motion. I would rather die than let Colton toss everything down the garbage chute. Blackthorn Riders MC is going legal, whether he likes it or not.
The old days are over. We’re going to make money off this thing. Good, clean money. We’ve got the infrastructure, the resources, and the motivation for such an endeavor. We just need to survive this coming war. But if Colton somehow gets anywhere near Nadia, I will fucking lose it.
And if I lose it, then it’s game over for all of us.
“How’s Lucius doing?” I ask Orion as we gear up for the ride. “When’s the last time you spoke to him?”
“Earlier this morning. He wants us to meet outside Stacy’s Roadhouse, off the San Diego Freeway.”
“That’s far,” Drake remarks, and I nod in agreement.
“He’s scared Colton might pick up on his move,” I reply. “He’s being cautious, but we still need to watch our asses.”
Orion checks the magazine in his gun, then puts it back and makes sure the safety is on before he holsters it and zips his jacket up. We’re wearing slim bulletproof vests these days, something I never thought I’d do again since my time with the SEALs, yet here we are. “We’ll be fine,” Orion says. “In and out of the roadhouse. We’ll keep it short and sweet. Fifteen minutes, tops. If Colton starts calling him, at least Lucius can tell him he’s on his way back.”
“Medina’s bike parts shop isn’t too far from there,” Drake points out. “He could use that as an excuse.”
I shrug. “Provided Medina isn’t already chugging Colton’s dick like the rest of those pricks.”
“Yeah, the mechanics have been a consistent disappointment,” Orion sighs.
