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This girl. How the hell was I supposed to stay away from this girl when she was right here? How was I supposed to hold myself back when she looked at me with those big, grey eyes and that pouting mouth?
“Where’s Declan?” That was my half-assed attempt at trying to salvage this, trying to stop myself from stepping over the line.
Her thin shoulders shrugged, and she made a full circle in my room, moving to sit on my bed. She wore her high top sneakers, along with frayed long shorts and a shirt that hugged her slender frame tightly. No beanie, so her blonde and pink hair fell onto her shoulders. She’d taken off the thin jacket she wore during the drive. “I told him I needed to talk to you,” she said, pausing, “alone.”
Alone? What would she need to talk to me alone about? My mind went wild with the possibilities, and it was a struggle to keep myself in check. This one made me want to lose control. I could understand why Declan was so keen on having her, on sharing her. She was…well, she wasn’t quite like anyone else. Not a normal girl by any means.
Ash glanced behind her, at the open door and the hall. She gestured for me to come closer, and I did. This girl…I could not deny her, even if it was for the best. Her voice lowered to a bare whisper as she said, “I asked Travis to look for Sabrina’s other diary while he’s at the Salvatore’s for Thanksgiving.”
Ash…Ash knew Sabrina had two diaries? What else did she know about Sabrina? Surely not the whole story. That other diary, though it detailed her encounters with Travis, was not nearly revealing enough.
There was no way Ash knew the truth. No possible way.
I didn’t know how much she thought I knew, so I played dumb, “What are you talking about?”
“With everything that’s going on with Ray, I…” She shrugged. “I guess I just want to know the truth. What really happened to Sabrina, if her other diary has anything else written in it. I saw her other one, but I don’t think things are that simple. I know Sawyer blamed Declan, but I know it wasn’t Declan. It wasn’t Travis, either, and I don’t think for a second that Sawyer could ever hurt his own sister.”
The way she spoke about them, it sounded like she loved them. When she wasn’t with me, was my name included like that? Did she talk about me like she talked about them?
“I just want to figure it out, and maybe…maybe help them get back together. It’s nice to have friends,” Ash muttered, turning her face toward her lap.
Even though I shouldn’t, I moved to sit beside her. My arm and leg were inches away from hers, and I resisted my urge to scoot even closer. “Have you talked to Kelsey lately?” They’d told me what happened, and I didn’t blame her for needing space. Still, something like that, when it came to Sawyer, shouldn’t surprise her. He was a dick through and through.
“No. I…I don’t know what I’d say.” Ash shook her head. “I know I need to, but I want to wait until Ray is gone. One thing at a time, you know?”
I could understand where she was coming from. My whole plan regarding Dad and the journal had gotten sidetracked with her bursting into my life. I understood it all too well.
“That makes sense,” I told her, leaning over to bop shoulders with her. “Just don’t wait too long, or you’ll somehow find yourself years down the road with the same intentions.” That wasn’t strictly me speaking from experience there, but I could imagine it happening. Me, going to Hillcrest, getting sidetracked because I was on the same campus as Ash.
She was very distracting.
Very.
“You know, you don’t really talk about yourself that often,” Ash told me, turning her torso to face me. She was so close, I could smell her. The slight, fruity traces of whatever soap she’d used earlier. “Besides you being Declan’s brother, I don’t really know that much about you.”
It was true, we’d bonded during a frantic, hectic, dangerous time.
Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I reached for her hair, sifting a tendril of it between my fingers as I watched her lips slowly part. “There’s not much to know about me, honestly,” I said. “I’m boring, Ash. Getting stabbed was the highlight of the year, actually.”
She giggled at that, and I relished the sound, eventually releasing her hair…only to place the same hand on her lower back. God, she was warm. So warm, so inviting. It would be all too easy for me to lean in. I’d tasted those lips before, on more than one occasion, but now that Declan had told me it was okay, I knew that if we crossed the line, there would be no looking back. If something happened between us, it would mean more than our previous embraces.
Ash’s giggling ended the moment she whispered, “You could’ve died because of me, Will. I…I don’t know what I would’ve done if you—”
Damn it. As much as I knew I had to hold back, I didn’t want to. Not anymore. Not right now. When it came to Ash, my willpower was nil, nonexistent, and I was a slave to the emotions warring inside of me. She was the perfect distraction, and I hoped she would never leave. Ash…I knew why Declan needed her so; I craved her just as badly as he did.
I stopped her from saying anything more. Having her confess her guilt wasn’t something I wanted. Right now, the only sound I wanted to hear from that beautiful, enticing voice was a moan of pleasure so guttural it would be forever imprinted on my brain.
My mouth met with hers, and I told her, through that kiss, everything I was too anxious to tell her aloud. The truth. My truth. She thought I was the perfect older brother? I wasn’t. I was just as bad as the rest of them, just as twisted and sick—I only hid it better. I pretended better. The mask I wore was of a finer quality.
Ash was only taken by surprise for a few mere moments; soon enough her lips melded to mine, and she returned my embrace. Her body turned toward me, and she practically crawled onto my lap, eager to run her hands down my chest, desperate to wrap her arms around my neck and push her tongue into my throat.
She tasted like life. She tasted forbidden, everything I wanted but couldn’t have. Why was I so keen on keeping myself away from her? Was it for Declan, or was I, deep down, afraid I’d hurt her?
The Briggs name was not a good one. Didn’t she see that by now? Declan was the best of us. Me, Dad, even Mom, though she was long gone now, we were all fucked up in the worst way.
My back fell, and we both collapsed on the bed. Ash moved to straddle me, her tongue dancing with mine, making me feel things I hadn’t felt in so long. God, I wanted this girl more than I wanted anything in the world. Arousal came easy when it came to her, my dick growing harder by the second.
I ran my hands up her back, under her shirt, my fingertips gliding along her spine and making her shiver against me. Her skin was so smooth, so soft, it was unreal. She was unreal. Everything about her was unbelievable. Her past, what she’d been through to be here. Ash was enough to make me forget, to make me want to forget. That had to mean something, didn’t it?
