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I didn’t want to die. I was only eighteen. I still had a full life ahead of me, a life that didn’t involve seeing bloodstains on tile ever again.
The woods took on an angle, and I nearly stumbled down a hill, my feet catching on dead leaves and twigs. I dared not stop, fearing what would happen if I did. I didn’t want to partake in the special weekend Ray had planned for us, didn’t want to know what other sick and twisted things his mind got up to.
I could feel my sanity already slowly slipping away. Try and try as I might, it just oozed through my grasping fingers like mist, something intangible, something I could never truly hold onto, no matter how badly I tried. Impossible.
Numb. I was numb inside, which I supposed was good. Had to be numb, to get through certain things unscathed. Whether or not I would get through this totally unscathed was still up for grabs. With my luck, I’d probably run in a large circle and end up back at the murder cabin of doom.
No, that was wrong. No time for jokes right now. This was a serious matter, and I was in so much over my head that I was drowning.Drowning in the truth, in what just happened, in the harsh reality that was Ray, my boyfriend.
Time seemed to blur as I kept running. If it was ten minutes or an hour later, I wasn’t sure, but eventually I darted out onto a road, my shoes skidding to a halt as I looked both ways. Ray could theoretically come driving along looking for me, so walking on the road was a no-go. I had to be smart; I had to steer clear of the road.
But, I decided it would be okay to walk beside it, in the woods. Far enough away that any driving car wouldn’t see me. Out of a car’s line of sight. If Ray was driving this way, hopefully he’d drive right on by. If I was lucky—which, I was starting to think, I never was—Ray would think I’m still running away from the house, as if I’d gone straight from the front door and not made a loop around the cabin.
If. That’s a big if.An if that a lot of things rode on.
No, with my luck, Ray would know exactly where I was going, and he’d cut me off. He’d get in his car and make it to the gas station first. He’d grab me, lug me back to his cabin, and tie me up in the basement, right next to that girl.
I liked the kinky shit, but not the kind of kinky shit that involved blood. Or knives. I was a wild child, not a sociopath. I liked living near danger, just not being in it.
I mean, a lot of girls liked the bad boys. My infatuation with Ray was nothing new, and certainly nothing special. The ones who radiated an aura of danger always got the girl in the movies, didn’t they? Ray did more than radiate danger, though. He was dangerous, and this wasn’t a movie. This was real life, and it was so very fucked up.
I was fucked.
If I made it out of this day alive, I knew for a fact I was fucked. Even if I got away from him, even if Ray ended up in prison, I would be royally fucked no matter how you looked at it. I wasn’t a victim…but I was a survivor all the same. I was a survivor who would have nightmares about the things she’d seen.
Being fucked, having nightmares—seemed a small price to pay for my life.
Chapter Two – Declan
I let Ash go, not knowing what to do. It was clear she was just as freaked out about this whole thing as I was, and yet, as I stood there just outside the hospital, replaying her words over and over again in my head, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to it. If it wasn’t just Will’s attack upsetting her.
If there was something else. More to it that I wasn’t seeing, things she was hiding from me.
With the moon low in its descent on the horizon, the early hours of dawn nearly upon the world, I couldn’t help but wonder. She’d told me it was never about me—which I never claimed it was. She’d said it was about her.
What was about her? Will’s attack? My brows furrowed, and I sluggishly made my way back inside the hospital, sitting down in the waiting room. My shoulders slumped. Why the heck would Ash claim Will’s attack was about her? I knew she was embroiled in the feud between Sawyer and I, but would Sawyer go so far as to attack Will?
No. No, what ill-will was between us was between us. Ash might be caught in it, but Will wasn’t.Sawyer wouldn’t go after him, and stabbing him was not something Sawyer would do or have done. We used to be friends. I liked to think I knew what the spoiled one was capable of.
What happened to Will had to have been unrelated, not anything to do with her. Ash was just freaking out, I decided, putting blame where it didn’t belong, claiming the blame for herself so maybe I wouldn’t do the same.Trying to, in a weird, misguided way, protect me.
I blamed myself for a lot of things, but I wouldn’t blame myself for what happened to Will.
Did she think I was weak? Did she think I needed her to protect me?
As I sat there, in one of the most uncomfortable chairs known to man, I felt my arm itch. I tugged on my sleeve, because long sleeves were my go-to apparel now, and stared down at my scar.
It didn’t feel like too long ago that I was here, that the nurses and doctor told me that if my roommate hadn’t done what she did, I probably would’ve died. I owed my life to Ash; it was something I’d never forget. But tonight wasn’t about her, or even me—it was about Will.
And, damn it, I knew if Will was conscious, he would’ve wanted me to go after her. I wanted to go after her, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Will was my brother. If I had to choose between Ash and my brother, shouldn’t I choose him? Family above all else?
God, that sounded like something Travis would say.
Travis was all about his family. Growing up, Sawyer and I never were privy to what it was his family did. And growing up, I didn’t care too much. Travis was peculiar, and I put most of my effort into Sabrina, especially once we started dating. For most of my life, I would’ve said Travis was my friend, and I never thought he could hurt me.
And then I found out he and Sabrina were together behind my back.
It wasn’t the first time Sabrina had wandered, but I’d always told her that I’d wait for her. Even if we had to take a break while she figured her stuff out, I’d be waiting. I loved her. She was everything to me, the only thing that mattered. The one thing in my life that really, truly mattered. It was, however, the first time I’d discovered she’d tried to keep her cheating a secret. Maybe it was because it was with Travis, or maybe it was because she was ashamed of it.
