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I nodded again. I knew I looked a bit like her; his words didn’t come as a shock to me. Sabrina was who I’d be if I had money. My looks were more punk, more I don’t care what you think of me, than hers were, but still. Our hair, our eyes, even our cheeks were similar, minus the pink dye in mine.
“Declan loved her a lot,” Will muttered, running his hands over his knees, where dark jeans sat, clinging to his long legs so tightly I couldn’t help but notice them.
My mind flashed back to the morning when he’d called me Sabrina, right after we spent the night cuddling after a nightmare. It pained me to say, “I know.” And I did know, just like a part of me knew he still loved her. If Sabrina rose from the dead, looking just as pretty as she did when she was alive, he’d run to her without hesitation. He’d drop me like a fly.
Which was fine, because taking the place of a dead girl was not on my agenda. Declan being in love with his dead girlfriend—dead ex-girlfriend, technically—wasn’t my problem. I didn’t want to replace her.
Will said nothing else for a few minutes, simply staring at his hands. It was a while before he got up and said, “I should check on him.”
I said nothing, only nodding again as he walked out. My eyes fell to his ass in spite of myself. Will had a good one. Firm in those tight pants, but maybe that was just my horny self talking. Being around these guys, not throwing myself at them, was a lot harder than I thought it would be.
And, anyway, tonight wasn’t about getting laid. It was about making sure we were all alright.
And we were. We would survive this night. This wasn’t the end for me or for Declan.
Chapter Three – Travis
She wouldn’t even let me into her room. Which, okay, made sense, considering what I tried to do to her in my room, but still. It wasn’t like I was going to physically hurt her. At least, I didn’t plan on it. As long as she learned her lesson with Sawyer, I’d planned on letting her go. Then we could’ve been happy and together and said fuck the whole fucking world.
But I’d underestimated her. She’d escaped. She was more resourceful than I thought, and when I saw that Sabrina’s journal was missing, I knew I had to explain, lest she start to get ideas. Ideas which were not in the realm of being correct.
If she read that journal…we needed to talk. I needed to explain. I needed her to know that her suspicions about me weren’t right.
Yes, it looked bad, but I was confident I’d be able to salvage the situation, somehow. I wasn’t going to give up on her. Ash was the one. I knew she was. She was different in ways I couldn’t describe. I needed her to know that she was mine and I wasn’t about to share her, especially with Sawyer. Sawyer, who would rather fuck every single girl he met than ever settle down with one.
I knew Sawyer was only acting out because he knew it was a matter of time before his family ended his wild days, but still. That was no excuse for trying to take Ash away from me. She was mine, and if I couldn’t make her realize it, I would make him realize it.
So, as I walked out of her dorm building, I pulled out my cell phone. Ash’s phone rested in my other pocket; I’d use it as an excuse to see her, but I’d give her time. How much time she’d need before seeing me again, I wasn’t sure. There was a lot I wasn’t sure about out there, but she was the exception to that.
I was so sure about her it hurt.
I scrolled through my contacts until I reached Sawyer’s name, and I dialed him. The night was dark above me, the sky growing cloudier as the minutes wore on. I liked gazing up at the sparkling dots in the blackness; it reminded me that we weren't as large as we thought we were. There were probably other planets out there, other beings both similar and dissimilar to us. Our problems were miniscule.
Ash was my main problem. She was also my main hope, the light at the end of the tunnel. I needed her so badly every nerve ending in my body ached. My heart felt hollow, as if it was just a fake appendage, pretending to beat. I needed her to fill me up in ways no other girl could; Ash completed me like no one else could.
My family was…different. Anyone in our bloodline would say obsession tended to run deep, even for those who were not born into the family but raised in it. It was a natural thing for us, a second nature. To obsess was to live; if one wasn’t obsessing over one thing or another, were you truly living?
Everyone else pretended to be normal, but I would go so far as to say everyone obsessed over something. Technology, movies, TV shows. Everyone had their secret obsessions, whether it was porn involving feet or women with big breasts. Everyone had their obsessions; I was simply comfortable with myself to let my obsession free.
Ash would be mine…but I’d give her time.
Sawyer picked up after a few rings. He sounded out of breath. “What’s up, man?” Being so out of breath, I knew he was either in the middle of banging a nameless girl—and let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d answered his phone during sex—or working out. Either way, I didn’t so much care.
However, seeing him with another girl might just make Ash forget all about him. Hmm. That was an idea, definitely.
“I’m coming over,” I said, stating it as a fact. Even if he was balls deep in a girl, he wouldn’t tell me no. We had an open-door policy when it came to each other…or, really, he had an open-door policy. He was the one who had a house rented; I was stuck in a dorm, and even though I’d bought out the other half of the dorm room, a house was still worlds better.
“All right,” Sawyer said.
I hung up, picking up my pace as I walked across the sidewalks through campus. Ash’s dorm was behind me, and I tried my best not to think about her as I walked. She would dominate my mind, but if I was going to give her time, I needed to try to think of something else.
I reached Sawyer’s house after fifteen minutes, and he greeted me at the front door, wearing nothing but athletic shorts and a towel draped around his shoulders. He guzzled from a water bottle, and I noted the sweat lining his bare chest.
Working out, then, not sleeping with another girl. A pity.
I made my way to the living room, plopping myself down on the couch and turning on the TV for some mindless background noise. “I’m surprised you don’t have a girl over,” I said, tossing him a knowing look. In all the time I’d known him, Sawyer hadn’t gone without a pair of legs wrapped around him for longer than a week.
He said nothing as he came to the couch, sitting beside me as he finished off his water bottle. He took the towel and rubbed it against his face, catching the sweat on the light grey fabric. “I know,” he muttered finally.
