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“Start from the beginning,” I said. Just because I knew most of the story didn’t mean I didn’t want to hear Declan’s side of it.
“Senior year of high school I started dating my best friend’s sister. Things were going great, I thought. I was happy. But apparently she wasn’t.” Declan’s jaw clamped shut, and I let him sit in silence as he thought of what to say next. “It was just after second semester started last year that she killed herself. She’d told me she was hanging out with her friends that weekend, so I didn’t think anything was wrong when she didn’t text me back. I was studying for an exam anyway, so I didn’t think twice about it. Sawyer is her brother, and needless to say we aren’t friends anymore.”
That was a name I knew already. “Sawyer was the one who brought that to me,” I told him, gesturing to the noose on my bed, and he didn’t look surprised.
“Of course he did. He wanted to see you.”
“Why would he want to see me?” Really, what did I have to do with any of this? Yes, I was the test subject, the only girl in a private, all-male school, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be dropped in the middle of a feud like this.
“Normally I’d say because he wants to sleep with you, but in this case, I think it’s because he wants to turn you against me, just like he turned everyone else.” Declan fiddled with the sleeve on his right wrist, meeting my gaze. The sadness lingering there hurt to see. I didn’t know Declan well, but I didn’t like seeing him in so much pain.
Plus, in the grand scheme of things, I think I would trust Declan over a guy like Sawyer. Sawyer radiated trouble. Trouble and sex were his middle name. I’d be stupid to trust a single word that came out of Sawyer’s mouth.
Though I already knew, I asked, “Why did he turn everyone against you?”
“When Sabrina hung herself, there was a note blaming me.” He ran a shaking hand through his hair, his voice trembling with real, genuine emotion. This was not something that was easy for him to discuss. “I didn’t kill her. I would never hurt anyone like that. I loved her…but I guess he just needed someone to blame. Even though I didn’t kill her, in his eyes I was the one who made the noose.”
I stared at him from across the room. “Why would she blame you in the note? If you were happy…”
Declan smiled a bitter smile, though it fell off his lips almost instantly. “That was the thing about Sabrina. You never knew what she was thinking. One minute she could be calm and happy, the next she’d be screaming and so upset she made you feel like an ant compared to her. She never snapped at me though, but I guess at the end she did.” He shrugged. “At the time, I loved her unpredictability, and I had the biggest crush on her while growing up, so I ignored it, thinking it would go away once we got older.”
It sounded like Sabrina had some behavioral issues. “But it didn’t.”
“No,” he said. “If anything, it got worse. Try to tell Sawyer that, and he shuts down. Now that she’s gone, nothing will ever tarnish her memory. Even though she was the one who did it, I’m the one he blames.”
“And he’s got the whole school against you,” I said, watching him nod. I couldn’t imagine going against a whole school who blamed me for my girlfriend’s suicide, right after said suicide. It just seemed awful, a horrible situation no one should be in. I felt bad for Declan. I wanted to hug him and tell him it would be okay.
“He comes from the richest family here, I’d say. Even if they hate him, they like his money.”
Somehow that didn’t surprise me. “It always comes down to money,” I muttered. Growing up, Mom and I never had much, so I’d learned to do without. Goodwill was a staple of mine for the longest time. A guy like Sawyer probably never had to worry about going to school wearing a ten-year-old shirt that was so ridiculously out of style it hurt.
Things children cared about. Seemed silly now.
“I’m sorry,” Declan added, his warm, chocolatey eyes still so sad. “You’re involved in all of this because you’re my roommate.”
I wanted to shrug it off like it was no big deal, as if I was thrown into feuds between cute boys all the time, like I was born into mystery. I wasn’t, and this was all new to me. The thing that wasn’t new? People like Sawyer. He reminded me too much of my dad, the kind of person who thought his money could solve every single problem the world threw at him. People like that—the people who thought they were better than you simply because their pockets were lined with gold and their beds were made of money—weren’t worth it.
I didn’t believe Declan hurt Sabrina. Listening to him talk about it, it was obvious he was still torn up about it, still depressed. I might’ve suspected him when I first found out, but now? There was no way he hurt her. He was someone who’d lost the love of his life, maybe even his first love.
It’s funny. In the books and the TV shows, first loves always seemed to last. They went on forever, the couple staying together regardless of what happened. But in real life? In real life things tended to be messy, and people grew apart. When bad things happened, first loves crumbled. Mine might not have ended in a suicide, but it ended all the same—and it wasn’t pretty.
Declan needed a friend; even his dad knew it. Dean Briggs wanted me to keep an eye on his son, and I would do it. I would also be the only person on campus who was nice to him, apparently. God, I couldn’t imagine going to class if I was in his shoes. I was sure the other students whispered shit under their breaths and constantly gave him glares.
I would be his friend. I would support him. He very desperately needed a friend, I’d say.
“Don’t apologize,” I told him. I grabbed the noose, headed to my trash can, and threw it in. “I don’t know what Sawyer was hoping when he came here—if he was trying to get a feel for me, to see if he could turn me against you like everyone else—but I’m not going to fall for his tricks.” If my eyes could’ve stared a hole in the side of the plastic trash can, they would’ve in that moment. “Sawyer’s never met a girl like me before.”
None of these rich, preppy boys have, but they were about to find out that I took no shit.
“Don’t underestimate him,” Declan warned, a little less sad now that he was no longer talking about his dead girlfriend. “He was my best friend once. I know what he’s capable of.”
I met Declan’s worried stare and gave him my best smile. “Soon you’ll learn what I’m capable of.”
Honestly, no one in this school knew me. None of them had come from where I came from, none of them knew how much fight I had in me. The things I had to deal with? The list could go on and on, and many of them were not things a girl should have to handle. But I was here, alive and kicking, and I planned on staying that way.
I’d do whatever it took to protect the fragile boy across from me, even if it included playing dirty.
Chapter Eight – Travis
