AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Reading at recess,” Christian spoke, shaking his head. “What a loser.” Behind him, Xander jogged over, stepping closer to me, a mean smirk on his face.
I hated that smirk. I also hated how his black hair looked blue in the sun, how his eyes were so dark they were almost soulless. Thinking Xander was soulless made me feel better, at least.
“Yeah,” Xander chuckled as Christian picked up the ball. “Who reads during recess?” Before I knew what he was doing, he yanked the book out of my lap and tossed it aside. It landed in the flowerbed, pages down on the mulch.
All I could think was: that’s a library book. I didn’t have the money to pay for it if it got damaged or wet. And it did just rain yesterday…
I went to get it, but I was too slow. Christian had his foot on the spine before I could retrieve it, and though I was on my knees trying to get the book, I slowly met his blue-eyed stare. “No one even knows you’re here,” Christian muttered, stepping harder on the book, the football tucked beneath his armpit. “Why don’t you just do us all a favor and kill yourself? At least then we wouldn’t have to look at your ugly face.”
Xander let out the meanest laughter I’d ever heard, and together they walked away, back to their game, leaving me on my hands and knees in the flowerbed.
The book was damaged, as I knew it would be. The inner pages were ripped and damp, destroyed just like I was.
Those memories felt like so long ago, yet they were so fresh they hurt me. I hated thinking back to that time, when all I wanted to do was give in and give up. When Xander’s brown eyes met mine, neither of us looked away. I said, “Maybe it’s a good thing we’ve changed.” What that meant was anyone’s guess.
I’d changed, but had he? Beneath his strange new exterior, was the old Xander just waiting, lying dormant, waiting to emerge and step foot into the light of day? I couldn’t be sure, but either way, it wouldn’t waver my resolve. I came to this school to destroy the Dick Squad, and destroy them I would.
Xander’s gaze finally broke away. “Maybe” was all he said.
We spent the remainder of class talking about what I wanted in my portfolio. He kept what was in his close to his chest, meaning he didn’t tell me squat. Just from the way he was talking about it, though, I could tell it meant something to him. That was something I could work with.
Maybe the key to Xander’s ruin was all in the pictures.
It was a few minutes before class let out, before the final bell of the day rang when I rested my cheek on my hand and stared at him. We both sat at the same table. The other students were slowly filing in and returning their cameras for the night, charging whatever ones needed to be charged. I wouldn’t say Xander and I were besties now, but we were a bit warmer to each other than we were an hour ago. Spending time with someone tended to do that.
It was only because the other kids were talkative and loud that I said quietly, “Can I ask you something?”
“You just did,” he muttered, and it took me a moment to realize he was joking. He wasn’t exactly smiling, but it was a joke. Beneath that sour personality, Xander Hill had a personality. It was just buried deep.
“Okay, then I’m going to ask you something else,” I told him. “Are you still friends with Christian?” I had an inkling what his answer would be, but I wanted to hear it for myself.
“Does it look like I’m still friends with Christian?” Xander looked at me, and in his dark eyes, I spotted a fire that was not there before. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he hated Christian almost as much as I did…but why? They were best friends before.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s fine.” Xander forced out a shrug. “I just…I haven’t talked to Christian or Alec in a long time. We aren’t from the same crowd anymore.” He tilted his head, his hair falling into his face, as if he was trying to hide from me, end this conversation without getting up and walking away.
I reached for him, setting a hand on his arm. A gentle touch, one I didn’t let linger too long. “I’m glad you’re you. I like this you better.” I withdrew my arm, watching his eyes on me, almost as if he was afraid to trust a single word I said. I might be trying to ruin him, but I meant what I said—I liked this Xander worlds better than the Xander of my childhood. This was a Xander I wouldn’t mind getting to know better, a Xander I wouldn’t mind spending more time with.
A Xander who I wondered what kissing him would be like.
Xander opened his mouth, about to say something, or maybe he was just shocked speechless, but the bell rang, cutting him off. I didn’t let him finish, knowing it was best for me to end this weird, touchy-feely moment right now. I hurriedly got up and left the classroom, leaving Xander at the table.
God, I was starting to view these guys as actual people and not just the subjects of my revenge. A terrible thing, really. Something that would only make me feel worse, when the shit actually hit the fan—and it was going to. Actual shit would hit the fucking fan.
Leah was probably right, though. I could make at least two of the Dick Squad fall in love with me. Christian…well, I’d have to go about him another way. Taking Alec from him wouldn’t be enough, and neither would breaking him and Jessie up.
I would have to get a bit more creative.
