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“Interesting timing,” Ryan mumbled.
“Excuse me?”
“Well, it’s just funny you say that right after fucking Hayes. That’s all.”
“And you fucked your little fake blonde Barbie doll, so what the hell do you care?”
“Stop!” He waved his hands in front of him. “This is…we’re going backward. Alright, so we’re breaking up. What’s that mean?”
“It means you’re not my boyfriend anymore, Ryan. You’re free to date and fuck whoever you want. But it also means that I am, too.”
“Are we gonna try to build up our friendship, or do you wanna just end it all and be done with me?”
“Ryan, I’m never gonna be done with you. It’ll just be like it was before we started dating. We hang out, we talk, we continue to get to know each other.”
“The problem is that the whole time we were doing that, I was falling in love with you.”
“We’ll figure it out. We’re gonna be living together. It’s not like we can avoid each other. I wouldn’t want to anyway. I like you, Ryan. I really do. But this, like I said from the start, was over before it even began. We will never work.”
“What about hooking up?”
She sighed. “We shouldn’t. But I think we both know we will. You’re the best I’ve ever had, Ryan. And yes, you’re better than Hayes.”
“Seriously? Because you came after being on his dick for like, 10 seconds.”
“Just because of his size. Had nothing to do with his skill. I mean, I did all the work myself. Your skill level is unmatched.”
“I mean, is it OK if we still hook up?”
“Probably not. But this is our game. We get to make the rules. And if one of us starts seeing someone else seriously, then it has to end.”
“I really don’t wanna lose you.”
“And I understand that. But you can’t waste your time with me, because your life? It’s out there waiting for you somewhere. Ryan, you’re so young and you’ve got so many good things coming your way. Your career is just taking off. You’re gonna be an amazing hockey player, score all…the…fuckin’ goals or whatever it is you hockey boys do. You’re gonna be even more famous than you are right now, and you’re gonna be rich. Like, private jet lifestyle rich. You’re not even gonna remember the early days when you had to split an apartment with some old, grumpy divorced bitch.”
“That old, grumpy divorced bitch is one of the best things that ever happened to me.”
Noticing he was crying, she grabbed his hand. “Maybe that’s true up to this point in your life, but someday I’ll just be a memory.”
“Never.”
“Yes. I will. I’m learning more and more that people come into your life for a variety of reasons and they don’t all stay. Believe me, someday, when you least expect it, you’re gonna meet the absolute person of your dreams. You’re gonna propose with probably the biggest rock ever and get married. You’re gonna stay faithful because you’re gonna go to therapy for your sex addiction, and you’re going to be the most amazing husband and father, Ryan. You really are. Your life is out there. It’s not here. As much as I hate that it’s not, it’s not. We’re just two people whose paths happened to cross at this particular moment in time for whatever reason. And honestly? I’m glad they did.”
“And you?” he asked sadly. “Where do you end up?”
She shrugged. “Wherever I’m supposed to. You know, I think a lot about what Rizz said the first night we met, how you and I probably had some connection in a past life. I’d like to think that those two foregone versions of us? Maybe they…I’d like to think maybe they made it.”
“Yeah well, I’d like to think that, too, but based upon this shit show, they probably went down together on the fucking Titanic.”
“Yup,” she laughed, wiping her eyes. “I probably pushed your big ass right off that door, too, and watched you sink to the bottom of the ocean.”
“Yeah, and then fucked Hayes on top of it afterward.”
“You are such a dick.” She smacked his arm.
“I know,” he said. “Guess I should get some sleep. Hey, I can feel my anxiety creeping up, and it’s bad. Can you lay with me, at least until I fall asleep? Please?”
She couldn’t have said no to him even if she’d wanted to.
