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“It felt better with her than with me, didn’t it?”
“Nothing on Earth feels better than with you, Amara.”
“You finished with her though.”
“Because I watched you cum and couldn’t hold it anymore. That’s just where I happened to be when it was go time."
“I didn’t like that. I wanted you to finish with me.”
“Then it doesn’t happen again.”
“I was so turned on watching you fuck her, but so jealous and angry, too. I don’t know which emotion to give control to.”
“That’s normal. I’m sure I’ll feel the same way watching you with another guy.”
“Do you think less of me now?”
“Absolutely not. If anything, this makes me feel even closer to you. Like I said, she was a toy for us to play with. That’s it. Did you see how quickly I got rid of her?”
“She was young. And really beautiful.”
“Yeah, she was. But so what? Lots of girls are beautiful. And all she kept telling me was how beautiful you were. No one compares to you. No one. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Not girl. Woman.”
He reached a hand up to the fogged-up glass door, took his finger, and wrote “Ryan”, drew a heart with an “‘s” below it, and wrote “Amara” below that. “I know I’m not supposed to say it, but you never said I couldn’t write it on the shower door. You know what? Fuck it. Amara, I love you. I’m not gonna stand here and pretend I don’t. I love you.”
“You say you love me, but you just did what you did with her. I’m having a hard time understanding that.”
“Because Amara, I don’t associate sex with love. I never have. They exist in two separate realms for me. I can have sex with someone and feel absolutely nothing.”
“And you think that’s normal?”
“I never said that. But it’s the way I operate. The fact that I also get to have sex with someone I love is like, a bonus for me.”
“Well, I can’t say it back. I’m sorry.”
“And you don’t have to. Doesn’t change how I feel.”
She turned the water off, and they both stepped out. He grabbed a towel and took his time as he slowly, gently dried off her entire body, all the way from her hair down to her toes. As he finished and began to dry himself off, she lay down on the bathroom floor mat. Unsure whether it was all the whiskey or the stress of the range of emotions she was experiencing, she didn’t feel right. He curled up behind her, grabbing a dry towel from the rack and throwing it over them.
“You don’t have to stay here,” she said softly. “I just need a minute.”
“Listen, I’m falling asleep holding you tonight, so if that’s on a bathroom floor, then that’s what it is.”
And that’s what it was.
Other Options (18)
“So which one: the red one or the black one?” She held up both dresses on hangers as she finished getting packed for Nick’s wedding, which was in a few hours at a hotel on Long Island.
“What’s it fuckin’ matter? You could wear a plastic bag and you’d still be a smoke,” Tyler told her, as he lay on her bed scrolling through his phone. “But you better pick one because we need to grab Osi and get going. The traffic’s a real bitch over there.”
The team had gotten a rare break in their schedule from the previous Sunday to the upcoming Sunday, so Nick planned a small wedding for that Friday. A few of the players who hadn’t decided to go home or take a quick vacation would be in attendance.
Osi and Tyler would.
Ryan would not.
“I hate that I won’t be able to come with you,” he’d told Amara. “But you understand that I have to go, right?”
