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“What the fuck is this, Ty?”
“Relax. It’s from Schitt’s Creek. We watch it all the time. He’ll get it. You’re lucky. It was between this and ‘Congrats, Mafuckas.’ Hopin’ I made the right call.”
Tyler slapped her ass and went to the fridge, grabbing a beer. “I know, I know. I can’t slap your ass anymore. Sorry. Old habits.”
“Get it out of your system before Jake shows up. And you’re getting the same speech your boyfriend got. He doesn’t know about…anything. He knows you two are together, and that’s it.”
“Aww, you didn’t tell him about how just a bit ago, you were all, 'Oh, Ty, I'm such a slut for your cock!'? Didn't mention that, babe?"
“Tyler! I’m not kidding. Not a fucking word.”
“Hey,” he said, hugging her. “I’m not gonna say anything. I wouldn’t do somethin’ like that to you.”
“Promise?”
“Promise. But, um, there is something you should probably be aware of.”
“And what’s that?”
“Rook ate half an edible.”
“I’m sorry? I’m sorry,” she laughed. “I thought you just said Ryan ate half an edible right before the party where he's supposed to meet my boyfriend. Tell me I heard you wrong.”
Ty shrugged.
“How long ago?”
“‘Bout…” He checked his phone. “Almost an hour ago. Should hit him in the next hour, hour and a half.”
Amara looked at the clock.
5:46 p.m.
Fuck.
She threw her hands up. “That’s it. You’re only job tonight, the only reason you exist on this planet right now is to babysit him and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. You understand me?”
Tyler nodded. “I’ll do my best. But, um, there’s something else you should probably be aware of.”
She buried her hands in her face. “Oh God. What now?”
“I, uh, ate the other half.” He smiled, waving at her. “I’ll probably be fine, but just wanted to forewarn you.”
“Tyler Hayes. I’m going to fucking murder you.”
???
Things had gone well for a bit. People showed up, and the Chel tournament taking place in the living room was becoming quite the spectacle.
“Boom, motherfucker! That’s how it’s done! Just like real life, ain’t one of you got shit on me!”
“Shut the fuck up, you cocky little bastard.”
“Yeah? Your mom didn’t seem to mind last night.”
“Wait, you fuckin’ pole-smoker. Don’t you mean my dad?”
“Shit, I’ll take ‘em both on at once, you dusty fuckin’ queef.”
