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“I messed around with one of my teammate’s girls. I, uh…without sounding like too much of a douche, my looks kinda attract a lot of attention. Always have.”
Gee, you don’t fuckin’ say? Hayes thought bitterly, alternating between watching TK pick at his hands in his lap and staring into his gorgeous, albeit dilated, dark eyes.
“And, like, it’s really hard for me to say no to sex. She came onto me, we fucked, and he found out. He assured me everything was cool, that it wasn’t the first time she’d stepped out on him. Anyway, the following week, we had an away game and we were partying in one of the guy’s rooms. There were all kinds of drugs being passed around, and someone broke out some heroin. And you know me, I’ve yet to meet a drug I won’t do, so of course I was in.”
“Was that your first time? With heroin, I mean.”
“Yep. I shot up, and I…woke up naked in the bathroom next to a trash can full of used condoms, blood all down my legs. I don’t remember anything other than just being scared as hell. I didn’t say shit, man. I didn’t wanna get kicked off the team for being high.
“The next day at practice, I was so sore I could barely move. He pulled me aside and asked me how my ass was doing. He let me know that if I touched his or anyone else’s girl again, he’d OD me and make it look like an accident.”
TK stopped talking, moving his hand to brush away a few stray tears that’d escaped his eyes. “I don’t…like, to this day, I don’t even know how many got a turn, man. There were at least six other guys there, but I don’t know how many…”
He paused. “One helped me get cleaned up, got me to my room and into bed. Said he didn’t know anything, but I could see it in his eyes that was a lie. He wasn’t involved, but he knew something. That…fucked me up, and I started with oxys right after.
“Within two weeks, the team had me in rehab. Lied and said I was injured to save face. I got sober, though. Came back and killed it. Managed to stay sober, too, until I ended up with the Preds. That was just too much money and temptation too quick, man. Then the whole shit with Anna, Yardy’s wife?” He shook his head, forcing a smile. “And…here we are.”
“You ever tell anyone? About the assault?”
TK scoffed. “Nah. Wouldn’t have done any good. Hockey culture, man. He was the team golden boy and I was the fuck up. Some things never change, huh? Ugh, anyway. New subject. So, you always knew you were gay?”
Hayes laughed. “Nah. Not even. I was…I was abused by my coach’s wife in Junior A, so I was always attracted to older women. Messed around with a couple guys in juniors out of drunken frustration, but it never got past kissin’ and dry humpin’. Ended up with Rook last year because we were both bangin’ the same older chick. It’s…a long story, but she sorta pushed us to deal with the fact that we were in love with each other. The rest, as they say, is history.”
“Did you always know you wanted him?”
“Oh, from the minute I fuckin’ met him. I mean, I didn’t recognize what I was feelin’, so it was just this constant, heated rivalry between us. But lookin’ back? Yeah, I fell in love with Rook the moment I saw him. He’s…perfectly imperfect, that one. And there’s nothin’ I wouldn’t do for him.”
“That’s a sweet story, Ty Hayes. I’m glad you two found each other, just like I’m glad we found each other. I am so glad I got traded to New York.”
“Me too,” Hayes said sadly, an insane amount of guilt and shame creeping over him as he took his phone out to text his boyfriend.
H: I love you, Rook. I just wanted you to know that.
R: Are you OK?
R: And you know I love you, too. So much.
H: I am now.
R: You with him?
R: Hayes, are you with him?
H: I love you. We’ll talk tomorrow.
R: Fuck. You’re with him, aren’t you?
“So, let’s do it,” TK finally said, Hayes raising an eyebrow, unsure what he was referring to. “Let’s get ourselves better. We’ll do it together, OK? I mean, we won’t be able to stop everything, but we’ll keep ourselves level and get our heads back in the game. Sound good?”
“Yeah,” Hayes agreed. “It sounds great, but like, do you really think we can do it?”
“We understand us, Ty. We’ll help each other. We can do it, baby. OK?”
Hayes nodded.
He’d told Rook he’d fight.
And he would.
