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“So you’re positive you’re ready for the next step?” Mandy asked, dunking her biscuit into her tea. “Because it doesn’t seem as though Dex is pressurizing you otherwise.”
“He isn’t, not at all, but I know he’d be ready if I was. I mean our snogging sessions are getting pretty heavy.”
Mandy’s head shot up. “Really, ooh all the details please.”
“It’s just snogging,” I replied with a shrug. “With some other bits thrown in.”
“Like what…oh shit.” Mandy groaned as the end of her biscuit fell into her cup of tea.
“Serves you right for having such a disgusting habit.”
I passed her a teaspoon and grimaced as she fished around for a few seconds and then put the spoon and its contents in her mouth.
“Okay, details,” she said around a mouthful of biscuit.
I felt my face flush as I thought about our date the night before. I’d had my hand down Dex’s jeans and he had his inside my bra; just like we were a pair of teenagers. Except when I was a teenager, boys had no clue how to get me off just by sucking my nipples – oh yeah, Dex did that too while I pretty much dry humped him.
“He’s very skilled, that’s all I’m saying at this point.” I gave her a grin and wiggled my eyebrows.
“Well when you actually do the deed, I’ll need more than that, so be warned.” Mandy looked at me with narrowed eyes. “You haven’t been kidding me all this time and have already had sex with him, have you?”
“No, I’d tell you. God, I’d probably put an ad out in the local paper, I’d be so excited by it.”
“Four years is a long time,” she said wistfully. “You may well need lube.”
I thought about how turned on Dex always got me and knew that there was no fear of me needing any such thing. The Vagisoothe had not been required for at least a couple of weeks.
“Seriously though, hun, are you really worried?”
I contemplated Mandy’s question and nodded with a sigh. “I’m not worried I’ve forgotten what to do, but I’m worried what I do know won’t be enough for him. He’s never said, but I’m guessing he’s had more than a couple of women in his bed. I’ve slept with two men in my whole life, Mandy. What if I’m too inexperienced for him?”
“Well he’ll teach you some new tricks. That’s what having sex with someone you care about is all about, learning together, finding out what the other one likes. He might be just as nervous as you.”
I curled my lip. “No way. Why would he?”
“Because he likes you. He’ll want to make things good for you hun. There’s no way he’ll want you to think Carl was better.”
I started laughing knowing that she was right. I hadn’t wanted Carl for a long time, but I still hoped that I was better in bed than Sophie. Of course I doubted I was, she was in her twenties and was probably as agile as a gymnast – the most intricate move I could make these days was putting my knickers on while brushing my teeth.
“He might not care,” I replied.
“Of course he will,” Mandy scoffed. “He’s a man, his ego will insist on him upping his game. And then his ego will bloody worry that he hasn’t upped it enough, so he’ll definitely be as nervous as you.”
“I just can’t imagine Dex being nervous about anything,” I replied. “He’s so confident about absolutely everything.”
“I’m sure he is, but believe me, this he won’t be.” Mandy gave me a soft smile as she pushed her mug away. “He cares about you and he won’t want to disappoint you, no matter what it is.”
I thought about Mandy’s words and knew she was right. Dex always made sure I had the right drink or that my food was okay. He never liked me driving home alone and he always rang or text me throughout the day to check I was having a good day. He asked about my kids all the time, and it wasn’t just lip service, he was genuinely interested in them – he’d even given my son a job and mended my tap. He really didn’t want to disappoint me and so maybe he really was as nervous as I was.
“I think I’m over thinking this,” I said, jutting out my chin in determination. “I need to let it happen naturally and if it’s not right the first time, I’m sure it’ll be perfect the second time.”
“And the third, fourth, and fifth,” Mandy giggled. “And that’ll just be the first night.”
“Shit,” I gasped. “I’ll be in agony.”
“Ah, you’ll be fine. Muscle memory will kick in.”
As we sat back in our chairs, the lounge door burst open and Annie barged in.
