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“Cherry, I never loved you like I shudda, and that won’t change a second time around.”
“But what if things were different? What if you came home with me and saw the sort of life we could have. What if we had a family?” Her fingers tightened around me as her eyes begged for me to agree.
I pulled my arm away slowly and pushed back my chair. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t want a family with you. I don’t wanna be with you, Cherry. I left for a reason, and that reason was because I didn’t love you – not like I should’ve and I never will.”
Tears brimmed at her lashes and her bottom lip trembled as she shook her head. “You’ll never love me, will you?”
“Nope. I’m sorry, Cherry. I was grateful, because you coming along helped me get through my mom’s death, but I’m not even sure I ever did love you.”
She shoved back her chair, almost sending it tumbling and picked up her purse from the floor.
“You’ll never know what you’re missing out on, Dex,” she sniffed. “Never.”
She ran out of the bar and that was the last I ever saw of her. Yeah, I wondered whether she’d killed herself because of the things I’d said, but the only small news piece I found about it, was short and to the point and was quite clear it had been an accident.
I wondered if the dreams were a product of my subconscious – I was real happy with the way things were going with Katie, so maybe it was a little more of that guilt pushing its way through.
I turned onto my back, linking my hands behind my head and looked up at the darkened ceiling. God, what I wouldn’t give for Katie to be in this bed with me, but she wasn’t ready for that and it was a little too soon for sleepovers, just yet.
I still couldn’t get my head around how quick it had all been, going from helping her pick up her shit from the floor to desperately wanting her in my bed. It had only been a couple of weeks, but like the great wide world tells you, ‘when you know, you know’, and I knew I wanted to be all in with her. At forty-six I’d dated a lot of women, lived with one, and knew what I wanted, and that was Katie. Life was short and at my age I didn’t want to be hanging around waiting to see if anyone better came along – mainly because I knew way down, deep in my gut, they wouldn’t. Katie was amazing in so many ways and though it made me sound like a pussy, I figured she may well be who I’d been waiting for all this time.
Reaching for my cell, I took a look at the time and saw it was almost two a.m. I’d only been asleep for a couple of hours. I’d worked late doing the books for Heaven & Ink, intermitted with texts to and from Katie. She was still embarrassed about what had happened at the gym, and her first text of the night had been a profuse apology for it. Me, well I didn’t give a shit. I found it hilarious, it was just another example of how she made me laugh – how she fucking rocked my world, and that was even before she’d rocked my world – if you know what I meant.
The texts between us had become fun and flirty and I was going to call her, but she told me she was in the cinema with Charlie and Annie watching some action film that Charlie had wanted to see. So, texts it was and I fucking enjoyed the banter between us.
Flicking at my phone, I opened up the string of messages and read through them, smiling like a damn idiot.
Katie:I’ve just lost half a tub of popcorn down my top.
Dex: Lol what happened?
Katie:Charlie knocked my arm just as I was looking down said top for a piece I’d already lost
Katie: God it’s really itchy
Dex:Can’t you scoop it out?
Katie:I’ve tried but the man next to me keeps watching me
I hadn’t replied for a couple of minutes after that one, I was too busy shifting between wanting to go over to the cinema and punch the guy, and wishing I was there to offer a hand. I decided to offer both options.
Dex: Want me to come over and sort the guy out and help you get the popcorn out?
Katie:He’s moved seats. I kept slurping my drink through my straw on purpose and then burping. Popcorn is still a critical situation though. Think I’ll be getting it out of my bra for weeks. Film about to start. Better turn my phone off, someone behind just complained about the light. Must be a Gremlin x
Dex:Enjoy darlin. Text me when you get home safe x
I didn’t receive any more until, as promised, she was home. She texted to say she was off to bed and would speak to me the next day. Yet again, I’d gone to bed with a huge smile on my face, all because of Katie.
With a sigh, I rolled over to put my phone back on my night stand, when it buzzed in my hand. It would be a happy but weird coincidence if that was Katie. I looked at the screen – Isaac. Worried about why he was calling me so late, I clicked on my phone.
“Hey Isaac. What’s wrong? Is everything okay with your mom?”
“Dex, shit, I’m really sorry to call you. I didn’t know who else to ring. Mum and Dad would go mad.”
He sounded a little scared, his voice quaking as he took deep breaths.
“What’s wrong, bud?”
