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Mandy gave an exasperated groan. “Listen, we don’t have time for this now. Have you got some nail scissors?”
“Yes, why?”
“Get them and you bloody owe me for this.”
“For what?” I asked, taking my nail scissors from a pot on my dressing table.
Mandy snatched them from my hands and knelt in front of me.
“Mandy!” I screamed, as she peered at my fanny. “What are you doing?”
“Checking the bloody damage before I give you a short back and sides.”
“No way.” I slapped a hand over my crotch. “You’re not touching my pubes.”
Mandy knocked my hand away. “Oh yes I am. Now keep still.”
“Mandy!”
“Oh shut up and let me concentrate.”
I knew when I was beaten and this was one of those times, especially when I heard the snip, snip of the scissors. When she’d evidently finished one side, Mandy shuffled on her knees and started on the other.
“Oh fuck!” she suddenly screamed, making me jump.
“What’s wrong? Have you cut me? Please tell me I’m not bleeding.”
I looked down in trepidation, as Mandy looked up at me with a mixture of sympathy and horror written all over her face.
“What?”
“I’ve found a grey pube. I’m so sorry.”
My heart sank and I felt as though my life was flashing before my eyes. I saw my first kiss with Carl, our breakup, Ryan, my make up with Carl, our wedding, my babies being born, Carl and I drifting apart – this was the beginning of the end.
“I can’t go on a date with Dex,” I whimpered. “What if it goes further than one date? I can’t let him see that I have grey pubes. I’ll have to have a Brazilian wax, I can’t Mandy, it’s agony. No, I’ll just have to cancel the date.”
“Stop panicking, it’s not a problem, honestly.”
“It is. I have grey pubes, Mandy. It’s awful. I’m officially old.”
Mandy stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Honestly, it’s a good thing. Think of it this way, he’s a silver fox and you’re a silver pussy. It’s a match made in heaven.
Dex
When I pulled up outside Katie’s house, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long damn time – nerves. I didn’t want to mess this up, because I liked this woman and I already knew that I wanted to take her on more than one date. I reckoned that Katie felt the same, nervous I mean, because I’d barely got to the front door before it was pulled open and she was standing in front of me.
“Hi,” she said a little breathily.
“Hey, Katie.”
I looked her up and down. She looked stunning; her hair was down, just past her shoulders, her make-up was fresh and pretty, and her legs looked amazing in the tight jeans she was wearing.
“You look lovely,” I said, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
“Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.”
