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To my delight, it’s filled with books.
The Book Café, it’s called, this dream place, and it’s run by Sawyer, a cute omega man. That’s how I met him. He’s proven to be a kind, sweet guy, from our few interactions over the past year.
I wonder if he still around. He has to be. Not everyone disappears on you without notice. And yeah, I know, we never exchanged numbers or anything of the sort, so what notice would he give to a girl he barely knows, but… I haven’t been here in weeks.
And suddenly, an urgency grips me to see him, talk to him, make sure he’s still there. Make sure he’s alive and well and real.
I’m going insane. That has to be the cause of this fear. Or reading too much fantasy. Back in the day, Mom always said I shouldn’t read that stuff, but I never listened.
This is the real world, Brin. Sawyer is real. And sadly, what you’re going through is also real. Don’t let the idea of magic convince you otherwise. Life is a struggle. Life is a battle. And you need to win.
As I hurry toward the café, Sawyer’s face flashes through my mind again.
I have done my best not to think about him, not to read too much into his kindness, but attractive men who also happen to be friendly are a hook in the heart. So hard to take out.
But rationally I know that Sawyer isn’t interested in me romantically. He must be looking for a pack, if he hasn’t secured one already. Someone like him surely won’t have any trouble finding a pack. He must have packs fighting over him.
And I… I’m so tired.
I just need a safe, quiet place to land and hide for a while. The Book Café has been that place for me in the past. I hope it’s still there. I hope Sawyer is around. I hope… for small things, nowadays. Gone is the girl who imagined finding and being with a sweet pack of people just like her—in love with reading and soft sofas, reading nooks and libraries, with fantasy and romance, with a fairytale to live in. Escaping reality.
Now reality has smacked me in the face one too many times and gotten a choke-hold of my throat.
Yeah, small things are awesome. An hour lost in a good book. A delicious cup of coffee. A quiet presence nearby. A smile.
Sawyer’s face.
Yeah, I’d settle for that. I’d be lucky to have it. One day at a time, one little luxury at a time, to stop my mind from imploding. I just hope it works.
2
SAWYER
“… a
nd then Kade told me that if we ever have kids, he has some ideas for names…”
“Hm…” I’m only listening to Bee with half an ear, while wiping down the counter with a wet rag and lost in my own thoughts.
Kade is Bee’s beta, by the way, and a friend of mine.
Just like Bee. A friend. I love her in a she’s-so-cute-and-nice sort of way. She’s a fun-sized bubble of joy and has become a good friend over the year since she crash-landed in the city and my life. She’s an omega like me, though initially she thought she was a beta, and she’s cute as a button, but I’ve never been attracted to her romantically.
No, instead she caught the attention of a local pack, the St. Laurent pack, and has been with them ever since. She used to work here, and when she quit, I thought I’d only see her in passing from now on, but although she has no need for money anymore, she still helps out here at the Café. She had stopped for a while, but now she’s back.
And I’m grateful.
I mean, the Book Café is the place where all our common friends congregate, so that’s probably why. The money I pay her can’t be the reason. In fact, after she left, I’d tried looking for another waiter or waitress, but nobody had taken a bite.
“Sawyer?” Bee waves a hand in front of my face. “You keep spacing out on me and I’ll start thinking that something’s wrong.”
“I’m fine.” I look down at the counter. Is it clean? No, not clean enough. I need to disinfect it…
“Are you, though?” she asks. “Did something happen at home?”
“No. Everything’s great.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Or is it a matter of the heart?”
