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She scoots away from me and rolls onto her belly. I stare where her tits rest on the mattress, my morning wood painful. “Do you talk like this with the pack, too?” she asks.
Damn, can she read my thoughts?
“The McGraw Pack? No.”
“Is there another one?”
“Yeah, and today I have to meet them,” I blurt out, and wince. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Fuck. Fuck, I…”
“What? Seriously?”
“My parents chose them for me.” The words roll out of me. An avalanche of truth. “I’m supposed to choose a pack by next week. A pack to claim.”
“And you…” Her brows go up. “You want them?”
“Want them? I haven’t even met them yet.”
“I thought you wanted the McGraw Pack.”
“I do. And I want you. Brin…” At her puzzled expression, I let out a self-deprecating laugh. “My parents have power over me. Financial power. It’s complicated. Nothing anyone can help with.”
We’re silent again, and this time the silence stretches. It’s sinking in that I basically told her I can never be with her, right after spending the night with her.
Holy shit, Sawyer, you’re on fire today. Such a fucking catch. Such an asshole.
Thing is, I hadn’t thought that far when I had followed her here, when I had fallen into her. It had all seemed like a dream, a dream come true, but now I’m sure the look in her eyes speaks of betrayal.
“I should go,” I say again, and this time she doesn’t try to stop me.
This was it, I realize, and my hands start to shake as I sit on the bed and swing my legs over the side. This one night was all I had. That sense of perfect companionship, of a perfect fit, that sense of belonging and tranquility, is now gone.
My big mouth shattered it.
Then again, fuck, imagine if I hadn’t said anything and let her hope there could be something between us.
If she wanted it.
Now who’s the arrogant confident ass, Sawyer? Sleeping with you doesn’t mean she wanted anything from you.
Regardless. That was rude. I shouldn’t have slept with her in the first place, not knowing what I know, that I will very soon be with a pack and she won’t be in it.
Unless I convinced that pack to add her?
Would they?
Would she want it?
I glance at her, but she’s not looking at me. Fuck, fuck… “Brin, just… promise you’ll call me if you ever need anything.”
She stares at me with huge eyes. “Sawyer…”
“Promise me.”
“Can’t promise that,” she whispers. “You have no right to offer that.”
My chest is too tight to breathe.
“I’m going to get dressed,” I finally say, feeling like the lamest moron that ever existed, and go to the living room to find my clothes. My hands are now shaking so badly that I have trouble pulling on my pants. I’ve fucked up yet again. Fucked up badly.
