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Would that make it better or worse? Is it better to be seen as lazy or just too stupid to live?
I hate how my knees feel weak as I wander down the entrance hall toward the main library section, corridors with offices radiating out to my right and left. How little children hop around happily, accompanied by their parents, when I’m dragging my goddamn feet.
A poster for reader meetings catches my attention before I reach the information desk. It shows a group of people seated in a circle, smiling at the camera. They are holding open books in their laps.
A girl comes to stand beside me, and I glance at her. Then I stare because there’s something about her blond pigtails and her big dark eyes that won’t let my gaze go. A fineness in her pointy chin, in the elegant arches of her brows, and her long neck.
“Oh look,” she says, and then thankfully proceeds to read the poster out loud: “‘Our book club discusses fantasy romance on Thursday night.’ Oh, reading club. Sounds like fun.”
Does it? To me, it sounds just about as fun as poking my own eyes out with a spork. Reading for fun. Sometimes I wish…
“Are you here for the class?” she asks, and I turn back to her in surprise.
“Yeah. Are you the tutor?”
I mean why else would she ask that question, right? But she blinks and a blush rises to her cheeks. I watch fascinated as she seems to check me out, her gaze moving from my face to my chest, my legs, and then back up.
But then she shakes her head. “Oh no. I’m not… Tutor for what? There are a couple of offers here on the board, that’s all.”
Hell!
“Nothing. Never mind.”
“I can show you where the main desk is,” she offers.
“I know where it is,” I grunt. “Like I said, never mind.”
With a small sigh, she turns away and starts walking toward the exit. She’s leaving.
“Fuck, fuck!” I hiss between my teeth. I’m being an asshole, something I’ve been working on changing. An antisocial ass who is used to pushing people away, despite my smiles at work. I worked hard on those smiles, too. “Hey! Wait.”
She glances over her shoulder at me, one dark brow perfectly arched. “What?”
I hesitate. “Thanks.”
She smiles, then, and it’s like a sunrise. “No problem.”
“Do you come here often?”
Her smile grows uncertain. “Sometimes.”
And with that, she leaves for good.
I pushed. Finding the right boundary between asshole and nice, nice and creepy, is damn hard for someone only used to assholes, let me tell ya.
I rub a hand over my face. Glance at the information desk. Make a strategic decision and get the hell out of here. Maybe I’m hoping to catch a last glimpse of her on the street, I tell myself.
But by the time I get out, she’s already gone, like a wisp of smoke.
5
SAWYER
“Casey will be here soon,” Gigi yells in my ear, while waving at someone across from us. “Ronin, here! Over here!”
He joins us at the bar and lifts his fist for me to bump. “Hey, Sawyer. What’s up?”
Ronin is one of Gigi’s alphas and a friend of mine.
