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“She hadn’t been feeling all that great for a while but hid it. By the time she was forced to go to the hospital, it was too late. She had a heart issue. I’m not sure if she had caught it earlier if it would have mattered. I try not to think about it, you know? I don’t want to imagine things being different because it would just piss me off.”
“Cutter…”
I inch toward her and bump my shoulder into her. “Hey, don’t do that. I hate when people do that to me. Make that face. It’s why I’m considered to be such an asshole in baseball. I don’t do interviews and articles because everyone wants to write about it. If I want someone to know about my mother, I’ll tell them myself.”
“It’s mean,” Piper says.
“What is? Me?”
“No. Not you. The situation. How does that happen? She raised you and…”
“The last thing she said to me, Piper? She said she was happy. She wasn’t afraid to die because she got to raise me. She knew I would be okay. She knew I would play baseball and chase my dream. That’s all she ever wanted. To her, she fulfilled her life’s goals.”
Piper looks forward and exhales. She pinches the bridge of her nose.
I can’t believe how emotional she is right now.
I touch her back with my left hand. “You’re like her in some ways, Piper. Fierce. Stubborn. You love your son with all your heart and soul. You’ll do anything for him.”
“It’s not easy though,” she whispers. “This whole thing is hard. And I’m angry about it, Cutter.”
“Angry about what?”
“I can’t…”
“Can’t, what? Tell me about your messy life?”
“I was the star swimmer and Hunter was the star football player. The big tight end. I was destined to travel the world and swim, win gold medals and end up on cereal boxes. I didn’t have the best upbringing in so many ways. My parents didn’t like each other. They stuck together for money reasons. They actually live out in California now and really aren’t interested in being involved in my life or Saxon’s.”
“That’s awful, Piper.”
“Is it? They aren’t good people. I’m not sure having my son near them would be good anyway. I was kind of a meal ticket for them. They were chomping for me to get deals and medals and make them money. So when I got pregnant with Saxon, it all changed. It all went to hell when I made it very clear I was keeping the baby.”
“They didn’t want you to?”
“It was the most my mother visited me,” Piper says. “A couple times a week for months. Setting up appointments. Begging me. Telling me I needed to do this. She finally exploded one time and told me I was ruining my life and she could not watch it.”
I make a mental note that I hate Piper’s parents. Never met them. No clue what they look like. But I hate them.
“I thought I had Hunter in this. Now when I think back on it, he was never there. I would go to him for comfort. He was just there. You know?”
Piper looks at me. She sips her coffee.
“I won’t ask any questions, sweetie. You can keep talking if you feel like it.”
“Don’t know what else to say, Cutter. The thought never crossed my mind when I was pregnant. I was terrified. Hunter finally told me the truth. He was out. Done. Wanted nothing to do with me. Or the baby. He wanted to go pro. Focus on his football career. He promised me all kinds of money. In other words, he was going off to find himself, get rich, and then come back.”
“In other words, he wanted to fuck other women.”
“Exactly. Karma kind of bit him in the ass though. Not that I should be happy about it but… first day of a pro training camp and he messed up his knee. He tore everything. A really rare kind of thing to have happen. He never played football again after that. By then I had given birth to Saxon. I was figuring out how to survive on my own. Working any job I could find. Putting money away. Taking care of Saxon. Then Hunter started to snoop around again. That didn’t work for me. First time he showed up, I kicked him in the balls.”
“Good for you.”
“It was hard, Cutter. I don’t know what kind of person Hunter would have been at that time. But I see it now. He sees Saxon once a week. That’s it. Saxon understands more than he lets on. It’s a hard thing to watch. But I have to stay calm and let it play out. I would never keep Saxon from his father. So that’s that. I never got back with Hunter. Never even so much as kissed Hunter. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like. But I’m good. I worked, saved, rented an apartment and took care of myself and my son. The guy who owned that building actually helped me buy the house I’m in now. He told me to buy the duplex and rent out the other half. That was scary to do. I made it work. I still make it work.”
“And you swim when you can, huh? But nothing professional?”
“At my age?” Piper laughs. “That’s cute, Cutter. I think you and I both know how the athletic world works. You’re ancient when you’re in your thirties.”
