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The first shot of water hits me right in the mouth and I stumble back.
My body and brain cannot compute what’s happening for a second.
“Right in the face!” Trey yells with his cackling laugh.
Trey squirts at me again with the water gun as PJ charges, shoulder down, trying to tackle me to the floor.
Ranger has the most common sense of the three and he grabs at PJ.
“Watch his shoulder and leg! We need him back!”
PJ pulls back and stands up, going nose to nose with me.
“Still nursing that injury, you big pussy,” he says.
“When was the last time you brushed your teeth?” I ask.
“Last time we made the playoffs,” PJ says.
“He probably has gingivitis by now,” Ranger says.
“Oh, man, how nice of you to play shortstop and still find time for dental school,” PJ snaps.
I feel another squirt of water get me in the left ear.
I jump at Trey, pry the gun out of his hands and break it over my knee.
Water spills all over the floor.
“Tony called us and said to head over,” Trey says. “Surprised?”
“He couldn’t have sent strippers or escorts?” I ask.
“Want me to strip for you?” PJ asks.
He lifts up his shirt, showing off a growing beer belly.
He takes pride in what he calls his authentic baseball figure.
“Must be nice to be that out of shape and get paid what you do,” I say.
“Not to mention only work once every five games,” Ranger says.
“Should have learned to throw a ball,” PJ says.
Believe it or not, PJ is a top ten pitcher in the league. The guy is big and burly, can hit triple digits on his fastball and has a sinker that can bring the smartest ballplayer to one knee, trying to make a cut on a ball.
“Hey, we brought more than water guns,” Trey says.
“Food?” I ask.
“Booze,” PJ howls as he rubs his stomach.
“And food,” Ranger adds.
I follow the guys out onto the porch and shake my head when I see the size of PJ’s pickup truck. It’s two inches shy of being a monster truck. Ranger has his convertible, a foreign car that I don’t know the brand. But I do know he paid a hefty six figures for it.
Trey climbs up to the passenger side of PJ’s truck.
