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Chloe
Mom is sitting up today. My heart lifted when I walked in earlier and saw her.
I’ve been here for a few minutes. I’m sitting at her bedside while the nurse takes her blood pressure.
It’s just me for the next hour. Dr. Chase increased our time slots from twenty minutes to an hour. Roxanne wanted to give me some time to myself to speak to Mom. She could tell we both needed that private time together.
Even if we don’t go into details about the things that are most pressing on our minds, it hasn’t been just me and Mom yet.
There’s so much to tell and even more I can’t talk about. That includes Cillian.
It’s crazy how my feelings for him shifted like the wind. I went from fear to desire with a kiss that tasted like darkness and death. Does that even make sense?
It doesn’t for someone like me. I lived with a different brew of darkness and death before, and it almost got me killed.
Cillian was right in what he said—when he repeated my words about being a monster. And he even admitted to having horns.
He looked like he was doing me a favor by leaving and saying goodbye forever. So I’d never see his horns.
Maybe I should accept the favor. If all goes well this week and I get the loan, Mom will receive the care she needs and I’ll get my life back on track.
Today is Monday. I should hear back from the bank today or tomorrow. I feel positive about getting the loan.
But how do I move on and forget Cillian?
The first thing to come through the door this morning was an envelope from his legal team. Inside was a revised contract freeing Mom from the loan Harlan took out. Alongside that was the cheque I gave him for fifteen thousand dollars.
He was true to his word.
He was the first guy in forever to make me feel alive. The fact that I could step away from reality when I was with him when I’m so worried about my mother is a miracle itself.
He treated me as though I was important to him. He kissed and touched me like I was. And just like he said back at the bar, the only time he touches his woman is to give her pleasure.
His touch had me wanting him more than I needed oxygen to breathe.
The nurse finishes with Mom and leaves us.
The moment the door closes Mom stares at me and reaches out to take my hand.
“I’m glad it’s just the two of us today.” Mom smiles. “That doesn’t mean I don’t miss Roxy.”
“I know. She knows, too. She wanted to give us some time together.”
“We need it. I could hear you. When I was in the coma I could hear your voice pleading with me to come back to you.”
My breath catches and I struggle to keep my lungs from squeezing. “You heard me?”
She nods slowly. I spoke to her about happy memories and told her how sorry I was for leaving.
“Chloe, we have a rough past but I don’t want it to shape our future. I never hated you the way you thought.”
“I made so many mistakes.”
“No more than me, sweetheart. I’m your mother so I should have tried to keep the peace between us. I saw that you were in love with Nathan, and you couldn’t see him for what he was. That’s a hard thing to do.” I know she’s talking about Harlan, too. “I went to your first performance in L.A.”
My spirit lifts. “Really? Mom, why didn’t you come and see me backstage?” I remember feeling like she’d come to watch me, then being so disappointed when I didn’t see her.
“I was a foolish, stubborn woman. I promised myself I’d just watch you, then leave you alone. I was still furious that you left but at the same time, I loved you enough to let you go. I felt that maybe I relied on you too much after your father died.”
