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Shit.
“And maybe that’s why when I get stressed out, something in me thinks if I pull a trigger, it’ll all stop. I couldn’t trust another doctor after that. I spent two hours a week with that guy for months before he kidnapped me.”
“I understand,” I say softly.
“You do, don’t you?” He caresses my face.
His eyes have softened. His hand is steady as he finishes unzipping me, then he takes the sleeves that rest on my biceps and tugs. The dress pools at my feet, leaving me in a flesh-colored strapless bra, a white thong.
“You make me feel the closest to human I’ve felt since then.”
“This isn’t the answer,” I tell him. “You’re upset. You’re grieving, and-”
His mouth is on mine, his hot hands are on me.
I go weak in the knees.
He says, “I know you hate me, Chloe. I know you’re sure you’ll never love me. But you’re so, so fucking good, so caring, so loving and sweet. You took care of me when I got the news. You were offering to help. Contacting Carson. Grace. You’re so, so good. You’ll give me what I need right now, won’t you? You’ll let me make love to you, you’ll let me make you come. Because you’re my good girl, my beautiful wife, who cares even if she doesn’t want to. Even if she shouldn’t.”
I squeeze my eyes tight.
He was so upset down there I couldn’t help but feel for him. And what happened at the cemetery was so terrifying, and it was moving to me the way I was his priority. It penetrated some sort of shield covering me, I think. I think I understand him. His motivations. The hand tremor. The trauma. It’s all so twisted, but he’s been through so, so much. The sum of his experiences and his environment have made Derek who he is.
“Please, baby. I need you.” He walks me backwards and I stumble, tripping on the pool of red lace at my ankles. But I don’t fall, because he scoops me up and then he stumbles and falls onto the bed with me, smiling, eyes alight with amusement.
“Oops,” he quips.
“I don’t think you’re being fair here. Trying to use your grief to manipulate me into sex.”
“Of course I’m not being fair. I’ll do whatever I have to do to get inside you. Don’t you know that by now, wife?”
I sigh and roll my eyes. “Seriously, you’re upset about things and what you’re trying to do right now isn’t going to solve anything for you. In fact, all it’s gonna do to me is make me feel bad afterwards.”
“But why do you feel bad afterwards?” He touches my face again. “I fuck you and it feels good, doesn’t it? You know it does. And you deserve to feel good.” He runs his fingers through my hair and bites his lip, eyes on my boobs, which are spilling out of the strapless bra. “I’m gonna fuck you, Chloe.”
“No, Derek.”
“Yes. It’ll feel good and make us both happy.”
“There’s so much wrong with this… I can’t even.”
“Wrong with me you mean?”
I sigh again.
“I didn’t kill Hallman’s ex. I didn’t order it.”
“I know that now,” I whisper. “Craig told me. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. But this isn’t the answer; it won’t fix things. You just had a really big and important conv-”
He covers my mouth. “Shh. I know you want this. Your eyes tell me even if your mouth denies it. And this…” He smiles and then his free hand dips between my legs and fingers slide through to hook the crotch of the thong to the side just a little, which is all it takes for him to find that I’m slippery. “This…” he chuckles darkly, “tells us everything we both need to know. Doesn’t it?”
I can’t answer with my mouth covered.
“The only problem here is your mouth, wife. So… let’s take that out of the equation, yeah?” He lets go of my mouth so he can yank on his tie, then he loosens it, pulls it over his head and shakes his head smiling. “Shoulda thought of this weeks ago.”
“No,” I protest, giving him an expression that irrefutably shows that I mean business. “Don’t you dare gag me.”
But he does dare. He moves lightning fast and secures the tie by looping it over my head and quickly pulling the tail to make it taut between my teeth.
