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And then I repeat it in a near shrill scream. “No! My voice trembles as I say, “You can’t make someone love you this way. You can’t do these things like you’re above the law, Derek. I don’t care how much money your family has, how many shady connections. I hope you do get caught. I’ll be so relieved. So fucking relieved that I’ll finally get my life back. Because you’ll be behind bars. You said the only way I get rid of you is death, well there’s also prison. And prison works for me. Let go of me!”
“Tell me exactly what you’re accusing me of,” he requests with an eerie calm that makes my scalp prickle.
The sign of a sociopath, right?
“Fuck off!” I struggle and he subdues me, like always. “Let go!”
“Chloe, stop.” He lifts me up, carries me down the hall into the master bedroom. As soon as he puts me down, he pins me to the bed. “You’re hysterical right now and you’re also wrong.”
I’m writhe uselessly, unable to find any semblance of logic or control. “Don’t play stupid, Derek. You swore you wouldn’t lie to me. Not that I should believe anything you say. Not only have you raped, threatened, stalked, and blackmailed me, you’re responsible for the death of at least three people just since you met me? How can you think I’d ever love you?”
“Settle down!” he demands, and he’s beginning to lose his cool.
“It’s her fault you canceled the trip with me, but you were supposed to be out of town with me and if you were, your father wouldn’t have taken your mom to New York, right? Your mom got killed because Jeannie’s blog made you cancel our trip. So you chose to punish her by ending her life.”
“I didn’t kill her. I had no idea she was dead until now.”
I scoff.
“I’ve been busy trying to figure out what happened in New York, who ran my parents down and killed my mother. That and dealing with my fuckin’ head over my mother and of course… you.”
“I’m sorry about your mom, Derek, I said that already and I meant it.”
“I know you do, baby.”
I’m talking over him before he finishes his sentence, saying, “But the person who is the reason your mom is in New York is found dead. A person you probably threatened. Did you threaten her when you threatened Lan?”
“Yes.”
“You’re admitting you threatened her?”
“Yeah, of course I fuckin’ did. She needed to be stopped.”
“So you stopped her permanently.”
“No. Told her she doesn’t say your name, doesn’t type it out, you do not fucking exist to her. She was smearing your name in defense of that fuckin’ asshole who didn’t deserve you.”
“So you stopped her permanently, right?” I demand.
“Scared her, but that’s pretty much it.”
“Pretty much?”
He shrugs. “She tripped and fell.”
“Oh and did she also trip and fall into the river and die?”
“Chloe, I didn’t.”
“Get off me. I hate you. I hate how you make me feel. You make me feel ten times worse than Adam ever did. No, a hundred times worse.”
His expression falls and he backs off me.
“I won’t ever love you. Never,” I whimper, wiping my eyes.
He clenches his jaw.
I roll off the bed and grab Kleenex from the table and dab my eyes.
