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He swallows without answering, but his eyes say it all. He needs comforting; it’s why he’s here. He’s been alone, probably, with his grief for the past few days and now he wants comforting.
“I have no right to ask you for that,” he adds, looking sad.
“Come here,” I invite.
He scooches over and puts his head on my chest, looking up at me with an almost boyish expression.
I reach around and run both hands up and down the warm skin of his back.
He’s lying still, tense though, and it’s not entirely comfortable for me with his weight on me like this, but I keep running my hands up and down his back. He wraps an arm around my waist and twists us so that we’re face-to face on our sides. So I keep one hand moving up and down his back.
It goes on for what feels like a long time, me trying not to look at his face, his gaze pointed at me like usual.
Why did I agree to do this for him after all his sins? I think he senses my desire to retreat. My hand halts and drops.
“Thank you,” he says.
“If you decide you want to try to talk about it, you can,” I say. “With me, I mean.”
He doesn’t answer. But warmth floods his expression as he lifts up onto one elbow and puts his free hand to my jaw.
His mouth lowers and his lips are just about to mine when his phone rings.
He looks annoyed, but folds away from me and fishes his phone out of the pants on the chair beside the bed.
I’m relieved. Because although I know he wouldn’t care, it would be predatory for him to kiss me when I know he’s grieving and upset. Does he realize I wouldn’t have stopped him? I might not have participated, but I wouldn’t have stopped him because he’s upset, and I don’t want him to feel worse. And I’d feel bad about myself for it. This isn’t the first time I’ve wished I was selfish and could treat him how he deserves based on his actions instead of based on empathy for him losing his mother. Even though he felt next to nothing about Adam’s grandmother.
I get up and put my robe on over my pajamas, then slip out so I can get some coffee into me. And get some distance.
I notice a text message on my phone.
Frank: I was planning to reach out today to say I hope you’re enjoying your honeymoon and to let you know all is running smoothly with work so you wouldn’t worry. But I’m now reaching out to say I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of Mr. Steele’s mother. Everything here is smooth-sailing, but as you’re the new owner and payroll needs to go in today to be processed I was going to ask for some guidance on your salary. It’s being processed at the usual amount unless you advise otherwise. Everything else can wait until you’re ready to discuss. Thanks.
After I get a few sips of coffee into myself, I decide to rip the bandage off by phoning Frank.
“Hello Chloe,” he greets.
“Hi Frank.”
“My condolences. And my congratulations, too. I don’t know what the etiquette is for a conversation like this.”
“Same. And thank you. It’s been a whirlwind. I… um… everything right now can run as usual if that’s okay. I’m going to need to take a bit of time to figure out exactly how things will work for me going forward.”
“I was wondering if I should update my resume, expecting that you’d likely have all sorts of plans I might not fit with. Or wait for you to decide. I don’t mean to pressure you; I won’t pressure you, but a clue would… help.”
“Of course you have every right to wonder, Frank. I didn’t mean to leave you feeling like you’re in limbo.”
“It’s all right, Chloe. I can keep things running while you deal with your family matters there and then we can talk when you’re ready.”
“I had no idea I was getting married and certainly had no idea my husband would give me the company. To say all this has been a shock is the understatement of the century.”
“Okay?”
And I fill the awkwardness with more words. “I’m not sure what I want to do about any of that. It all sort of blindsided me. Would it be okay if things run as usual for the time being? If you’re not down with lack of security and that’s why you thought about looking for something else, I’d just like to say I would love if you’d stay. If you have more responsibilities because you now technically report to me and I don’t know what owning the company entails as of yet, I am happy to increase your salary. Can you handle the running of things for now?”
“Well-”
I cut him off, “If it’s too much, I’d give you approval to hire someone to replace me so you’re not covering me. Hire an assistant if you need to, or promote within if you think someone else on the team is capable of helping you run things. I don’t know what the company’s financials are like but I’m sure Derek wouldn’t have bought it if the company was in trouble, so… you’ve got my approval to do what you need to do for the good of the company until we can talk about the direction and what involvement I might have. You’ve been a wonderful mentor and very, very accommodating with these last tumultuous months of my life.” I take a big breath and finish with, “I wasn’t sure if the owners had anything to do with that or if it was all you, but either way I’d love if you’d stay and keep doing exactly what you already do as well as looking after things until I can figure out what my role could be.”
