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“The fucking thing?”
“No, the other.”
“The paper?”
“Yeah that.” He had my attention. Not that he hadn’t had it before, but I sensed I wasn’t going to like whatever he was about to say next.
“What about it?”
He rubbed furiously at his brow. “Well you should probably know that this issue isn’t going to go away. I mean there’s a level of stubbornness and determination you’re dealing with, which is off the fucking charts... there’s always a Plan B. Always will be.” This definitely wasn’t going to be good. Just looking at his body language, that much was obvious. He was studiously avoiding eye contact, staring at the floor just in front of him.
“Okay...? So what does this Plan B involve?
He consulted his watch. “The paper was raided and shut down two hours ago.”
“Raided? What the fuck?” The panic that overtook me was immediate and extreme. “So that’s why you kept me here and wanted me to stay longer? Knowing I didn’t have my phone, couldn’t contact anyone or be contacted, and wouldn’t find out about it until it was too late?”
Jesus Christ. I liked to think of myself as a smart, switched-on badass, but I was really beginning to wonder about both my sanity and my survival skills when it came to that man. Why the hell had I trusted him just because he’d “seemed” to genuinely give a fuck last night, and had taken care of me when I hadn’t had the wherewithal to look after myself?
“No. That’s not it at all. Not even close. I wanted you here last night because you needed me. I wanted... I want you here today because... I like being around you. I like spending time with you. I like whatever the fuck it is that’s going on here.”
I feigned total confusion at his words, a deep frown drawing my eyebrows downward. “You’re Section 7.25 delusional. What’s going on between us is just sex, pure and simple.”
The lies burned a hole in my tongue as they left my mouth. Whatever twisted shit was unfolding between us was far more than just sex. Sure, the sex was the best I’d ever had by a long way, but sex wasn’t everything—even outstandingly earth-shatteringly good sex. Our physical compatibility alone wasn’t enough to explain what was developing between Bear and me.
Not only that, but if I was totally honest, before I was angry to see him waiting outside my dorm the night before, I was just the tiniest bit relieved. Of course I could help and take care of myself, but after the shock I’d had, I would have needed support. At the very least, I’d have messaged Cally or Beau to be there for moral support.
The only issue there would have been the questions they’d ask that I wouldn’t have been either willing or able to answer. He might have been part of the monstrous problem that was dogging me, but the “advantage”—if you could call our totally fucked up situation that— of having Bear take care of me was the avoidance of an inquisition. He didn’t have to press me about the issue, he was the fucking issue.
While I was letting home truths swirl round in my head, I should also have gone ahead and admitted to myself that as I’d drifted off to sleep in his arms, I’d felt safe, comforted, and protected. So much more so than I would have lying alone in my bed in the dorms, wondering if or when the “bogeymen” were going to strike again. It was dumb as shit, and totally ass backward, but it was the truth.
I was disappointed with myself, given the lessons I’d learned from my childhood, but I would have to ponder that more at some other point. For right then, I needed to get the fuck out of Bear’s clutches and see what the hell was going on with the paper. I grabbed at the clothes he’d loaned me, that had been discarded on the floor, and dressed in record time.
“Thanks for looking out for me last night, and for the bath, breakfast and clothes. I’ll launder them and get them back to you.”
“Don’t worry about it. Keep them.”
“I’m not worried. You’ll have them back tomorrow.”
I couldn’t recall ever having run anywhere for any reason faster than I did to get back to my room. No mean feat, given that I was barefoot. I arrived sweaty and hardly able to fill my lungs, each breath scorching my throat with a metallic burn. I didn’t care; as long as I could squeeze enough oxygen into my body to function in any way, I was good.
I burst into my room and made a beeline for my laptop on my desk. It was then that I saw it. My phone sat next to my computer as though it was any other day. Except that the last time I’d seen it, it was being snatched out of my hand by one of the masked madmen.
Of course I was glad to have it back, but not in my fucking room, meaning that at least one of them had been in there again while I was out. I felt fairly sure it wasn’t Bear, given he’d been with me, but on the other hand, he’d ducked out to take care of some “errands” while the doctor was looking me over, and if not then, I’d slept for so long it was conceivable that he’d left his room while I was totally unaware.
Although he’d had the opportunity, I somehow doubted that it would have been him. Even though it would have incriminated him further, I had the distinct impression that if he’d had the phone in his possession, he would just have given it to me, and risked the consequences.
I grabbed it and looked at the screen. It was fully charged, which was weirdly courteous of them. I strongly suspected that the reasoning was nothing to do with being polite and helpful, and everything to do with their own ulterior motives. What if they were bugging or otherwise tracing it?
What if they’d bugged my room? They’d been in there when they’d known I was otherwise indisposed, so they’d had plenty of time to do any or all of the above. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and focused on the more pressing matter. I looked down at the phone again, and, as if on cue, it rang in my hand.
Chapter 37
Honey
“Hey.”
“God damnit! I was just about to call campus security and ask them to open your room so that I could check that you weren’t hanging by your neck from the light, or hadn’t otherwise harmed yourself.”
