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“The scale isn’t the point.”
“Then what is? The point, I mean.”
“All of the past editors of The Herald have gone on to run major papers. Assuming that your ambitions are the same, the point is that you are currently, and will be later to an even larger extent, a leader in our society. So again, what do your friends say about you?”
“Well, they can be counted on one hand, so make of that what you will.”
“In other words, you’re a loner?” A small smile played at the corner of his mouth, ready to celebrate his victory over me,
“I guess some people would put it that way.” I shrugged. I wasn’t necessarily ashamed of my semi-loner status.
“How would you put it?”
“I’d say I don’t let personal attachments stand in the way of getting the job done.” The words had come across way better in my head.
“That sounds like the epitaph of someone who died alone and unhappy.”
“Ouch.”
“I call it like I see it.” Jesus. He was worse than me.
“That makes two of us, but like I said, I’m not the all-star jock everyone wants to know about, so let’s stick to the matter at hand, shall we? What other passions or interests do you have apart from ball?”
“Hmm... interesting question. Well it’s the biggest kept secret that I am one of a growing number of men taking up crochet as a form of stress relief. I find it oddly cathartic.
“Really?”
“No. Apart from class and assignments, ball takes up the majority of my time. My extracurricular activities outside of those times aren’t fit for public consumption—my mom has been known to read The Herald if she knows I’m in it.
“Nice segue, actually. You mentioned your father earlier, and your mother now. How instrumental has your family been in you getting to this point?”
“They’re extremely supportive, if not a ‘little’ pushy. They are the original ‘failure is not an option,’ middle-class social-climber parents, in the nicest possible way, I guess. They’ve always been my biggest cheer squad.”
“And what if failure was an option? What would you have done differently?”
“What are you asking?”
“I’m asking if your drive to succeed is an internal or external force. Are you pushing yourself toward the carrot, or are you running way from the stick?”
“Neither. Or both. Depends on how you look at it.”
“How do you look at it?” She really was like a dog with a bone, and she wasn’t about to let it go.
“Well, the way I see it, they have always had their hopes, plans, dreams and desires for me, but if they didn’t match up with mine—meaning that if I didn’t want those things for myself—we wouldn’t be sitting here having this conversation. You can lead a horse to water, and all that. Where I am right now is a feature of the combination the way I’m made, and the way I’m raised, all coming together in the perfect storm.”
“Are you saying you’re perfect?”
“Ha! Not at all, but it has been said to me more than once, and if the cap fits, I’m more than happy to wear it, if you know what I mean.”
“I’m afraid I probably do.” I tried not to blush, but the imagery that sprang to mind with his words made me think things I had no business thinking, and my cheeks flamed, despite my resistance. I fiddled with my earrings, a bad habit I adopted when I was nervous. Although not ideal in my line of work, I figured it was probably less telling than wringing my hands, which was what I tended to want to do in these situations. This way I kept my fingers busy, but didn’t highlight my nerves quite as much. At least, I hoped not.
Chapter 9
Bear
I liked making her uncomfortable. She made me feel kind of sideways just by existing, then when she spoke, it was even worse. It was only fair that I returned the favor. I slowly followed her hands with my gaze as they roamed to her earlobe. I froze in place as I watched her fiddle with her earring. The air in my lungs literally halted mid-breath. I couldn’t do anything apart from stare.
Moments ticked by slowly, like honey trickling through honeycomb. A voice in my head told me to snap out of it, to act normal, not to let her know there was an issue. Finally, my body caught up with my brain, and I sat back a little, looking at my watch at the same time.
