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Drew
“Ah, there you are.” My grandfather smiled warmly at the person who was approaching us, as though greeting an old friend. “I wanted to introduce you to my grandson,” he told them. He’s going to be joining us for a little lunch when we’re done with our round. Drew, this is my assistant, Kevin. Kevin, this is Drew.”
“Kevin. Pleased to meet you.” What. The. Fuck? I hoped to God my face wasn’t betraying the shock I was in.
“Likewise.”
We shook hands, and it was just about the most awkward introduction in the history of introductions. Not that my grandfather, or his friend, Martin, who was at the bar with him, seemed to notice. Or if they did, there was no way they had any inkling of the reason why.
I stared “Kevin” in the eye, enjoying the awkwardness. After all, I wasn’t the one who needed to squirm. Not even close. In fact, it was one of those moments where on the one hand, life had given me lemons, while on the other, it had also given me a bottle of vodka, and some soda. It was party-fucking-on.
I looked at my grandfather. “So this is the famous Kevin you’ve been waxing lyrical about all this time?”
“Yep.” He popped the p for emphasis. “I’m glad you two are finally meeting, I think you’ll get along. You’re about the same age too, right? Kevin here, is nineteen.”
“Mmm, hmm. Close enough. Well it’s good to finally be able to put a face to a name.” I drew each word out, letting each one hang heavily in the air between us.
“Oh really? What have you heard? All good I hope? Ernie’s said almost nothing about you, so I’m guessing he’s been telling you the worst about me!” Kik smiled tightly, trying for lighthearted, and achieving ‘constipated’ at best.
“Oh no, not at all. He’s always saying what a good, honest, hard worker you are. Such a trustworthy and genuine guy.” I emphasized every relevant word so heavily, even the old men must have caught the sarcasm that time. There was another loaded silence, which I was not afraid to let stretch out forever. In the end it was Grampsie who eventually broke it.
“Well, what are we all standing around gasbagging like a bunch of old women for? The day’s not getting any younger, and neither am I. We have a round of golf to play, and the sooner we get that done, the sooner we get back here for lunch, and more importantly, drinks.”
If there was one thing I knew—and loved—about Grampsie, it was that he didn’t like anything to get between him and a bottle of fine scotch.
I smirked. “Of course. Don’t let me keep you. You guys do what you need to do. I have some shit to take care of while you’re out there.”
“Okay, son, that’s great. Kevin, is the buggy ready?” Kik nodded mutely. “Good. Stop dilly-dallying, and let’s go then.”
As the trio made their way to the courtyard alongside the bar, where the buggy was parked, I offered a two finger salute to their retreating backs. Kik hung back a little, and turned to glare at me as the two old men stepped outside. This was going to be too much fun.
When they’d finished their round of golf, we sat in the dining room eating lunch. I always enjoyed these times with Grampsie, and felt guilty that lately, with my college work, and all the shit I had to do with Cygnus Dei, I hadn’t met him at the club for lunch for a long while.
It wasn’t like it was a chore or anything, I actually always had fun when I hung out with him and Martin. Grampsie was a cool guy. What I liked most about him was his straightforward approach to life, and the fact that what you saw was what you got.
He was someone who told it like it was one hundred percent of the time. In other words, he was the polar opposite of my father, which was a good thing. I trusted Grampsie with my life, whereas, in contrast, I didn’t trust my father as far as I could throw him.
The other great thing about Grampsie was his wicked sense of humor. Again, in stark contrast to my father, who was just about as humorless as anyone could be—he made even the sternest of people seem like a barrel of laughs. Grampsie was the polar opposite—he could take something mundane, and totally ordinary, and render it hilarious, with his own unique take on life.
“So, old man, what’s news?”
“Less of the old, thank you! You might be a big hulk like your father, but you’re never too old for me to spank.” I’d like to see him try. Old guy or not, I’d take him down before I let him hit me. “What do you mean what’s news? At my age, the only news is that some other poor fucker kicked the bucket. That’s all that ever happens, isn’t it, Martin?”
Martin nodded while stuffing altogether too much food into his mouth.
“Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best question.” I didn’t bother to remind him that it was the same question I always asked. “So how are you?”
“How do you think I am? I’m the same as always. Just sitting here waiting to die.”
“Grampsie, don’t talk like that, you’re not going anywhere.”
“Ha! We’re all going to die, kid, just some of us sooner than others. In the meantime when you get to my age, that’s what it really is, a waiting game. I go to all these funerals all the time, and I just know that the next one could be mine. It’s bullshit.”
“So is all this crap you’re saying. A whole load of BS. You’re not going anywhere for at least another hundred years, so that’s the last I want to hear of all this death talk, okay? What else have you been doing?”
“Nothing. Well, there’s the list, of course.” Aah, the list. There was always the list. This was one way in which Grampsie was just like my friends and me. Even at his advanced age, he was still all about the pussy. It made me laugh.
“Okay, so how’s the form?”
