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Emily
After the restof the guys come back from lunch, and they start planning out tonight’s party, I retreat back into my bedroom. I curl up on a little couch in the corner, my Kindle in my hand, and I stare at the screen, pretending to read.
But I can’t concentrate. I keep thinking back to that moment with Aiden, before anything with him and Ryan happened. I keep seeing that, over and over, and I keep hearing his words.
I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe I told him to go get Ryan. I’ve never done something so bold in my entire life. And he could easily have gotten angry about it, because it could have been seen as insulting. I was telling him that I didn’t want him alone, but I wanted both him and Ryan.
It wasn’t about him. I would have been perfectly happy with just Aiden, because that man’s gorgeous and kind and funny and sexy. But I knew Ryan was home, and I knew I could have them both if I wanted, and so I told him to go.
And he did it. I still can’t believe it. What came after was incredible, felt so good, but that moment where I ordered him to go get Ryan… that was something special.
It hits me all at once. This whole time, I’ve been assuming that they have the power in this. They’re all big, strong, rich, handsome men, and they’re all totally out of my league. But for some reason, they’re all really into me.
I have the power. I’m the one in control. They’re all going to come after me, no matter what I do. The feeling is strange, one I’ve never had before, and I don’t know what to do with it.
I’m afraid, if I’m honest. I don’t know why I am, but it’s the truth. Maybe I’m afraid of hurting them, or maybe of them losing interest in me. I don’t know how all five guys could possibly be okay with sharing me like this, but so far… it’s working, and it feels good.
I should probably choose one of them. I know that’s the reasonable, logical thing to do, but right now I don’t feel reasonable or logical at all. In fact, I feel completely emotional and irrational and it feels really, really good.
Of course, there’s still Henry to consider. He doesn’t want me getting involved with any individual guy, and I can’t even imagine how he’ll react to me getting with all of them at once. He’ll totally lose it, and I’m absolutely terrified of that.
Clearly not terrified enough to stop though. Maybe I need to stop using Henry as an excuse to go all in. Or maybe I need to actually respect him enough to stop doing what I’m doing, and choose one of the guys like a normal girl would.
I chew on these questions for the next few hours. There’s a knock at my door around six, and Henry comes in. “Coming to the party?” he asks me.
I nod. “Yeah, might as well.”
He grins at me and sits down at the edge of my bed. “Hey, you know, I’m happy you’re here.”
I smile at him. “Thanks, me too.”
“Have you heard from Mom and Dad?”
I shake my head. “Not really. I guess they’re having too much fun to check in with their homeless daughter.”
He laughs softly. “Well, don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of it.”
I raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“When you go back to school, I’ll get you a place.”
“Henry,” I say.
“No, please,” he says quickly. “I know it’s weird or whatever, but let me do it. Obviously I can afford it, and I haven’t been the best older brother…” He trails off, looking at the floor. “I guess I want to try and do something nice for you.”
“Okay,” I say softly. “I don’t need or want you to do anything for me, though.”
“I know.” He grins at me. “But what good’s a rich older brother if he never buys you shit?”
I laugh as he stands up. I get up too and go over to give him a hug. It’s a little awkward, but it’s a good step. I’m happy when he leaves the room.
But of course, that only makes my feelings more complicated. Dread and guilt threaten to overwhelm me as I go to get ready for whatever raging party they have planned.
* * *
“Is that an entire pig?”
Carter laughs. “Sure is.”
