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Carter
I squintagainst the glare of the sun and try to go back to reading, but I can’t seem to concentrate on anything.
I have a stack of undergrad papers that I need to grade. Working at the university means I mostly deal with grad students, but I still have at least one section of Intro to Physics every semester. It’s fine, I don’t hate it, although I prefer the smaller seminar classes as opposed to the big lecture halls. Still, I’m a professor, so I do like to hear myself talk sometimes.
I need to get these papers graded, but I can’t seem to make myself do it. Instead, I keep glancing off to the side at where Emily’s lying on her blanket, the straps of her bikini pulled down, her eyes shut against the sun.
For a second, I can imagine that we’re alone out here near the waves, just me and her. Part of me wants that, just some time alone with her, normal time alone outside of this house, although I’m afraid that the spell might break if we do leave this place.
Unfortunately, all the other guys are here. They’re playing catch with a football over in the sand not too far away, and I want to get up and throw it around too, but I’m stuck trying to actually get this stuff done.
“How’s it going?” Emily glances at me, a little smile on her face.
“Shit,” I say. “I can’t concentrate.”
“What’s so distracting?” she asks.
“You,” I answer honestly.
She just laughs. “Good one.” She turns back forward and closes her eyes again.
That’s the truth, though. I keep thinking about her, about our kiss. I’ve been wanting to kiss her since I came here, and part of me thought that if I could get it out of my system then I could move on. All the other guys want her, and I hate the idea of being in some macho competition for her. It’s gross and not my thing, so I figured if I can kiss her, I can get it over with and put it behind me.
Instead, that kiss only made me want her more. It’s impossible to win in this situation. I don’t want to be involved in this, I don’t want to fight for Emily’s attention, but I can’t help it. The more I think about that kiss, the more I’m sure that I need more from her.
I’ve kissed a lot of women in my life. Done a lot more than just kiss, too, if I’m being honest. I’m a young, attractive, intelligent guy. I don’t have trouble meeting people.
But I’ve never been so pulled into someone before like I am with Emily. I feel so drawn to her in a way that I can’t really describe. The thought of trying to find another woman actively repulses me, especially with her sitting right there.
And yet… I don’t know, I hate the idea of fighting for her. I just want to have her, to make her feel good, to let her make me feel good. Things should be simple, especially out here on vacation, but they’re most decidedly not.
“Hey, professor.”
I look up to see Henry standing over me, grinning and sweating from running around in the sun.
“Hey, yourself,” I say. “You’re getting sweat on these papers.”
“Eh, the kids don’t care. Hey, join me in the water for a swim, will you?”
I hesitate a second, but shrug. “Sure, why not. Can’t get this shit done anyway.”
“Cool. Come on.” He heads off as I stand up and shove the papers and my pen back into my bag. I pull off my shirt and catch Emily watching me. I give her a wink, which makes her blush and turn away.
I hurry after Henry. He’s already in the water, swimming around on his back, as I wade out toward him. Water’s not too bad, not too cold but definitely not warm.
“How’s it going?” he asks me.
“I got two done,” I admit.
“Shit. Out of how many?”
“Thirty something,” I say.
He laughs. “Sounds like you’re fucked.”
“You’re not wrong, my friend.” I sigh and lean back, floating in the water.
We float like that together for a little while in silence. I always liked this about Henry: he knows when to talk and when to just enjoy the quiet together. It’s never awkward with him like it is with some people. When we’re not talking, I don’t feel the need to try and fill silence with boring chatter, and neither does he. We talk when there’s something to say.
