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She believes me at least.
“What’s worse is they think I’m somehow responsible. Like I plotted this all with my mother. If they knew us at all, they’d know she’d never involve me in something like this. I’d be useless.”
Wisp brightens then darkens in response.
“Right? If it’s not metal, then it’s not me doing it.”
“Not me,” she repeats, as if to confirm that neither of us is doing this.
It’s not that I entirely blame the princes for not trusting me. These shifters don’t know me at all. At all. They stood, struck dumb when I was making weapons with Rivet, even though they watched me make that knot thing in the Deadly Passage. It was like they thought the first metal magic I used with them was a fluke. They didn’t even bother to explore that it might not be.
I shake my head, annoyed with them for being so dense, then rise to my feet, suddenly needing to move. “Why marry me if they’re so adamant to hate me like they do? Did they even try to get out of it? There had to be other ways they could get the cure without dragging me into it.” I don’t remember any other negotiations with the shifters. “And now, we’re married and miserable. They won’t even touch me, Wisp. I’ve been married for a short time now, and I’m still a virgin, even though one of them has spent the night with me each night. Not that I want to have sex with any of them. It’s the principle of things. I have three husbands, and I’m still a virgin. That’s not right, is it?” I kick a pebble by my foot and send it flying into the river.
Wisp darkens and hums. I nod at her solidarity.
“So, they accepted marrying me in hopes of getting a cure, but they, apparently, don’t intend to actually treat me like a wife? That’s really how they’ve decided to handle this thing?” I ask, recalling our wedding and the way it all went down. “I get that they didn’t want to marry me, but when they saw I was a real person with real feelings, I’m surprised nothing changed.”
I could see the three of them getting together and deciding they’re going to stonewall the big bad witch, but I’m not that. Surely, they see that. Yet, they’re still keeping me at a distance, even after meeting me.
Or maybe it’s because they saw me that their approach changed?
“They met me and don’t like me. Do you think that’s what happened? It’s not that they don’t like me for being a witch, but just that they don’t like me? Want… me?” My stomach drops. Thinking about it makes me feel even worse. There are three whole hot shifters who aren’t interested in me. One is fine, even two, but having zero out of three is just plain terrible.
Even though they’ve shown some attraction to me. But maybe that’s just because I’m a woman and they’re men. I don’t really know how that works.
Brushing more tears off my cheeks, I turn to push the troubling feelings down. It doesn’t matter if they don’t like me. No one likes me. It doesn’t matter if they don’t find me attractive. I don’t want to sleep with them anyway. What matters is me showing I’m useful, so they don’t kill me. Torture I can handle after what my mother has done to me, but there’s no escape from death. That’s all this is, a game of survival. Love or even like isn’t part of the equation.
“We need to forget all of that. It’s not important. What is important is that I need to figure out what’s causing the illness, Wisp, because they’re really going to hurt me if I don’t.” My heart pounds as I remember how angry Prince Drogo was at Rivet’s shop. “I just…don’t know where to start though. Every way I’ve tried to approach this curse has led to nothing.”
“Curse, curse!” Wisp calls out as she dips low towards the river.
“That’s right, the curse,” I say. “Do you know anything about it?”
I got the sense she knew before. She might be able to tell me at least something that would put me on the right path. Even something small could at least keep my hope alive, and the princes off my back.
“Curse! Curse!” Wisp cries again, circling in the air, darting around trees, and skimming the surface of the water.
“Right, I’m going to need more to go on than that. I already know it’s a curse.”
“Curse! Curse!” she chirps in an irritated voice, continuing her playful flying.
I sigh. Okay, not in a helping mood, got it.
“It’s time to think. Before I get back to the princes. I could read through the magic book again, it’s almost dried, or make something up until I have an answer to get them off my back, but I don’t really want to lie unless I have to.”
“Off your back,” she says suggestively.
My cheeks heat. “I already told you, I’m not spending a lot of time on my back. I’m focused on finding the cause of this illness and then figuring out if I can cure it.”
“I already told you,” Wisp says in an irritated voice.
Rolling my eyes, I explain, “Fine, I’ll spend less time on my back. Now, focus.”
“Focus,” she says in an equally annoyed voice.
“Right, I need to focus on my goals. First of all, I’m going to figure this out so they don’t kill me.” I look out over the river, watching the water flow gently. “After I do… well, maybe I’ll grow on them. Hopefully, they’re just this grumpy because they’re scared… unless they’re just this grumpy because that’s who they are.” I sigh, considering that aspect of the situation, then I shrug. “Well, they’ll just have to deal with me because it’s not like I can go home!”
“Deal with you,” Wisp says, then disappears.
