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“Yes, Faith. Of course you are. I’m Anita. I didn’t realize you’d be up yet. Sit. Sit. I’ll get some food. You need lots of protein to heal.”
The other woman fussed over her, ignoring her protests, getting her coffee and a plate of scrambled eggs, mushrooms, and fried ham steaks. She didn’t have the heart to tell her that she didn’t have an appetite.
“Faith!” The yell came from the bedroom and Faith startled.
“Oh, Reuben isn’t happy.” Anita gave her a wide-eyed stare as she cleaned up. “Are you not supposed to be up?”
“Umm.”
Reuben stormed in, looking frantic. Faith felt a pang of guilt. Oops.
Relief flooded his face as he saw her. “What are you doing up?”
“Sorry. I was sick of being in bed, so I got up for some coffee. And Anita made me breakfast.”
The other woman walked over to Reuben, patting his arm in a motherly way. “I’m going to go now. I’ll be back early tomorrow. You behave.” She pointed sternly at Faith who stared at her in surprise.
Whoa.
Then Reuben was crouched in front of her, running his gaze over her frantically.
Shoot.
This was not giving him back control.
“Sorry,” she whispered. “I wasn’t thinking.”
Leaning forward, he rested his face in her lap. “I’m losing my fucking mind.”
Fudge. Fudge. Fudging fudge.
She brushed her good fingers through his hair. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right, baby. It’s not your fault. I just . . . next time tell me if you want to get up. Please?”
She didn’t know why but that ‘please’ just made her feel worse. This wasn’t her Reuben.
Faults and all . . . she loved him the way he was.
“I think I have an idea of how to help you. And maybe it will even help me.” The idea was feeling more and more like it was the right path to take.
He leaned back to give her a quizzical look.
“I want to give up full control.”
He frowned slightly. “You want some Little time?”
“More than that. Full control. Little headspace or not. Although I think Little headspace will be easier, at least to start out. I mean . . . you making all of the decisions. Like what I eat. What I wear. What we do. Even when I go to the bathroom.” She was blushing. “If I get to come or whether I just suck on your cock without my own pleasure.”
“You’re not up to that.”
“I am,” she said firmly. “You just have to be careful with me, but I know you will be. I don’t know how young I’ll go in Little headspace. But I . . . I give my consent for you to do whatever you want other than make me bleed or give me to anyone else to use.”
He growled at that. “I’d never.”
“I know.”
It was always easier for her to let go in Little headspace. But this was more, and she wouldn’t lie, it was a tiny bit scary too.
