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When she woke, it was dark, and the sound of her breathing was loud in her ears. Dolly was a dead weight at her feet, but her head was raised, her ears pricked. Something had woken them both.
“Marie…catch hold…I’m coming…” Caleb groaned.
Grace rolled out of bed, the wooden floor smooth and cold under her bare feet. She peeped over the bannister.
Caleb was asleep downstairs. He’d made a makeshift bed on the rug in front of the fire. Embers still glowed in the wood-burning stove, enough for her to see him toss restlessly, his legs tangled in a sheet.
Dolly whimpered at her feet. Grace rubbed the dog’s soft head with her hand. “Should we go down and check on him, girl?” She sucked on her lower lip, not wanting to intrude. Nightmares were a window into a person’s psyche. How would he feel if he knew that he’d woken her? Perhaps she should get back into bed and pull a pillow over her head.
Caleb cried out again, louder this time. The anguish in his voice made Grace’s decision for her. She hurried down the ladder, while Dolly mirrored her descent using the steps built into the wall.
In the dimly lit room, Caleb lay on his side, the golden glow of the fading fire casting a warm hue over his bare skin. His legs twitched in the throes of some distant dream, causing the sheets to rumple at his waist.
Grace stood by him, torn between the desire to offer him comfort and worrying that to do so would only strengthen the deepening attraction she felt toward him. Being with him felt so good, but the worried voice in her head still wanted to hold back.
But.
He hadn’t shied away when she’d told him about Richard. Of course, he didn’t know the full story, but there hadn’t been a single moment when he had acted like her presence was a burden, something that he wanted to change. And he was a Coast Guard and former SEAL. He was no stranger to danger, even if he didn’t know the full picture right now.
She laid down behind him, pulling a blanket snugly around them both. She wrapped her arms around his middle. That felt safest even though her fingertips burned to glide over his chest, to feel the thud of his heart under her palm.
“I’m here.” She breathed him in. “You’re safe.”
The tension in his body melted away, his muscles yielding under her touch. It sent a thrill coursing through her veins, the realization that her presence soothed this warrior man.
“Grace?” His voice was a mutter, muzzy with the remnants of sleep.
“You were shouting out. A bad dream.” She nuzzled her face against the base of his neck, absorbing the warmth radiating from his skin, allowing his heat to seep into her chilled feet and hands. She savored every sensation—the feel of his skin against hers, his scent of wood and snow, the reassuring solidity of him against her.“You okay?”
“Yeah…Sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She wanted to know what caused him such pain and the near darkness gave her confidence. “You called out a woman’s name, Marie.”
He exhaled, his breath loud in the quiet room. His muscles flexed beneath her fingertips as he shifted. “Marie was my girlfriend.” His voice held a rawness Grace recognized too well. “She worked as a waitress. I met her shortly after I joined the Coast Guard. Funny, cute as hell…we hit it off straight away.” He paused for a moment, his chest rising and falling. “Her family were avid sailors, out on the water every weekend without fail. But that weekend...” He trailed off, throat working.
Grace rested her palm on his shoulder, wishing there was something she could do to soothe him. “You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to.”
His hand found hers. “No. It’s okay.” He paused. “The forecast had been for clear skies, but an unexpected squall hit them.” His jaw ticked, teeth grinding together. “My crew got the distress call—I recognized the yacht’s name. Knew it belonged to Marie’s folks.” His chin dipped. “I stood there on the helipad in the rain, drenched and numb, calling her phone over and over while it just rang into silence.”
“God. Caleb. I’m so sorry.” She’d guessed it was something terrible, but to hear it spill from his lips? Her throat stung, and she wished desperately for something to smooth away the torment.
“When we arrived, the boat was taking on water fast.” His shoulders rose and fell in a shuddering inhale. “The swells were massive, angry as hell…” His voice cracked and Grace pressed her forehead to his back in wordless comfort. She held her breath, knowing how hard it was for him to speak these words aloud.
“Marie got swept away. Cracked her head hard enough that the…” He swallowed thickly. “The blood was dark, so fucking dark. I went in after her, but the undertow, the chaos…the sea just swallowed her whole and I couldn’t...” The muscle in his clenched jaw jumped. “I couldn’t save her.”
“You can’t save everyone.”
He cleared his throat. “I’m a Coast Guard. It’s my fucking job.” Bitterness was a razor edge to his words. “To protect people, and I couldn’t even save Marie.”
“Caleb. You can’t be a failure for being human.” She couldn’t filter the incredulity from her voice. “In the brief time I’ve known you, you’ve shown me you have the biggest heart of any man I know. You put your life on the line for strangers every single day. That doesn’t make you a failure, Caleb, that makes you a goddamn hero.”
“Grace, I?—”
A thought struck her. “Is this why you live out here in the middle of nowhere? Away from everyone?”
He didn’t answer straight away. “If I see less of people, I can’t let them down.”
“I may not have been winched into your helicopter, Caleb, but you still saved me. That night when Richard’s men were hunting me like an animal. That has to count for something, right?”
