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Sometimes, clarity comes without words.
“You lost someone, too. Didn’t you?”
Her head flies up, and her expression gets guarded. For a minute, I don’t think she’s going to answer, but slowly, her defensiveness cracks until I glimpse pain and vulnerability behind her mask. She dips her chin.
“My grandma. I always called her Grams.” Holly’s normally cheerful, joking voice sounds watery.
Suddenly, sitting at the kitchen table seems too formal for this kind of intimate talk. I stand up, using my grasp on her hand to tug Holly after me. She follows without protest, hesitating for only a moment when I settle on the couch. The cushions next to me sink down, and I relax as her warm body presses against mine. With one hand, I hold hers, and I move the other to rub soothing circles on her back.
“What happened with your grams?” I whisper the question, but she still hears me.
Before responding, Holly leans her head on my shoulder, making my chest swell.
There hasn’t been a time when I’ve felt more like a man than when Holly seeks me out for comfort and support. When she relies on me, when she trusts me, it’s the greatest feeling in the world.
“You’ve probably noticed my family isn’t exactly the normal setup.” She fiddles with my fingers.
I give a small confirming noise from the back of my throat.
“My mom was never very responsible. She had problems with addiction. Apparently, she broke a bone or something while playing softball in high school, and the doctors gave her painkillers. Things kinda spiraled after that.” Holly keeps her voice matter-of-fact.
I try not to react to the sad story, wanting to know everything about the girl at my side. Even the hard stuff.
“She met Pops, Marcus’s dad, at a party. They dated for a bit. Then, she got pregnant. Pops stopped messing around. She didn’t. When Marcus was born, he came out sick. Mom left him with her mother, Grams, to take care of. Pops helped, but he was barely older than a kid. Worked a bunch of jobs to cover the medical bills. Grams was a schoolteacher, so she didn’t make much money. They figured things out though, the two of them. Then, six years later, Mom showed up, pregnant again, no father to be seen.” Holly lets out a chuckle with no humor behind it.
I slide my arm around her shoulders, hugging her close.
She stares into the fire for a bit before continuing, “After what happened with Marcus, they did everything they could to get her clean, so I would be born a healthy baby. Mom even kept to the program after that, but we all still lived at Grams’s. Well, the four of us. Pops had his own place by then. Marcus would stay with him on the weekends and with us during the week.
“So, when I was growing up, life was pretty good actually. I basically had two moms, and Pops was around enough that I didn’t wonder too much about who my dad was.” She tries to smile up at me, but I notice a tremble in her lip.
Then, she looks away, her shoulders going stiff. “When I was ten, Grams died. It was sudden. Sent Mom off the wagon. I’d never seen her like that before. One minute, I had two moms; the next, I had none.” The deep breath she drags in stutters.
“I’m sorry, Holly.”
She nods. We sit still together under a blanket of silence.
Now, I know how Holly felt when I told her my story. Helpless. There’s a heaviness in the air, the weight from our pasts crowding the once-cozy cabin.
It seems wrong for us to stop here. The woman beside me deserves a happy ending.
“What happened next?”
Holly starts, as if she forgot where she was for a moment. After clearing her throat, she gives me the rest. “Marcus went to live with his dad full-time, but I stayed with my mom. The situation … wasn’t good. When he found out, Marcus convinced Pops to adopt me. So, the three of us made a new family.” When she smiles up at me, this time, there’s no quiver.
“Your pops sounds like a great guy.”
“He’s the best. You should meet him.”
Now, I’m the one smiling. Holly wants me to meet her dad. That’s the type of thing boyfriends do.
If I were her boyfriend, I’d also lean down to kiss her right now. With our faces only inches away, her big brown eyes locked on mine, it’s tempting.
The silence grows thick between us as our breaths mingle in the close space. Hints of her honeysuckle scent tease and entice me, the warmth of her body turning my muscles into liquid lava.
Her lips part, and she gasps in a small breath. “Ben, I …”
“Yeah?” My hand starts to rise to cup her face.
