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“You okay, Holly? Need any help?” his smooth voice calls down the hallway.
“No! I’ve got it. Had to readjust my grip.” That isn’t a lie. Apparently, the hold I have on my hormones is too loose. I do my best to lock down the fluttering in my chest and lower belly before picking the chair back up.
Time to test my willpower.
BEN
Holly stumbles her way back into the room, making me feel like shit because she had to carry her own seating again.
I can’t believe she’s here. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t seen her in almost a month; I still want to kiss her. Then, I want to give myself a swift gut punch. I’m pretty sure my obvious lusting after her is why she avoided me for so long. If I want her to stick around, I need to get my dick under control.
First step, try not to ogle her backside as she bends over to adjust the chair.
“I’m serious, Ben. If you don’t want me here, just tell me to go.”
“What?” When I whip my head up from my lap, Holly is sitting cross-legged in her chair, staring at me as if she could drill past my skull and dig into my brain.
Please don’t let her be a mind-reader.
I mute the movie. “Why do you think I don’t want you here?”
“Because you won’t look at me. And, when you do, I get the sense that you’re uncomfortable.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Holly leans forward, eyes locking mine in place, so I have no option but to meet hers.
“Ben, I want you to know something about me. I make it a point not to lie to my friends. That doesn’t mean I’m going to spill all my secrets and tell you every detail of my life. But, if you ask me a question, I’ll be honest. I’ll either give you the answer or tell you I’d rather not talk about it. Now, can you promise me the same?”
Shit. This girl won’t stop knocking me on my ass.
I clear my throat, needing a second. “Yes, I promise.”
That earns me a small smile, but the intensity remains in her eyes. “Good. Now, what’s wrong?”
She gave me an out. She said I could claim I didn’t want to talk about it and that she’d let it drop. But the thing is, I don’t want to evade her. I like the idea of honesty between us, but it’ll feel one-sided if I avoid the hard questions.
So, how to answer her without confessing my crush and ruining the fact that she showed up here today to see me?
“I haven’t heard from you in a while. I guess I’m worried I did something that upset you. And I don’t want to do it again.”
Holly leans forward to grasp my hand, her face earnest and her skin warm. “No, Ben. That’s all on me. I’m …” She trails off.
“You’re what?”
She releases me to gesture between us. “Bad at this.” I raise an eyebrow, and she deflates on a sigh, trying again. “This is going to sound lame, but I don’t have a lot of friends.”
Really? Who wouldn’t want to be friends with Holly?
“I’ve been told I don’t let people get close easily. So, I guess, when we started hanging out, I panicked. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have avoided you.”
Interesting. Maybe I wasn’t the only one feeling that heat between us. Holly just isn’t as receptive to it as I am. But she’s here, so that’s something.
“Okay. You’re forgiven.”
“Just like that?”
She gives me the start of a smile, so I push for more.
