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The lack of passion in his statement clings to me like walking through a surprise spider web. I try to brush it away but can’t seem to manage it.
Terra shares my skepticism.
“Job security? Very practical of you. Is that something you worry about a lot? Losing your future job?” Her bowl is full of grated cheese, so she sets aside her implements and focuses completely on Ben.
My roommate’s scrutiny can often make people uncomfortable, but Ben just appears thoughtful. His eyes are unfocused, and his hands have stilled as he considers her question.
“Not exactly.” He brings his attention back to Terra. I still feel like I’m in his peripheral vision as he addresses her, “I made some selfish choices in the past. Went the irresponsible route and paid for it. I don’t want to do that with my career.”
“Hmm.” Terra stares hard at Ben, and he doesn’t let his gaze fall. She gives a small nod but still doesn’t seem satisfied. “So, life goal number one is, get healthy. Life goal number two is, a good job. Any more?” Terra brings us back to her original question, listing off Ben’s answers by counting on her fingers.
In a large pot on our stove, I begin piling in ingredients along with some boxed broth. When Ben doesn’t respond immediately, I glance over to find him completely focused on the potatoes.
He clears his throat, eyes still on his work. “I’d like to find someone. A forever kind of someone.”
I fully expect Terra to squeal, clap her hands together, and then mock us mercilessly. Instead, she gives a glimpse of her serious side, reaching across the table to grip his arm. At her touch, he glances up from his work.
“That’s it, Ben. That’s a good goal.”
BEN
“Done. Finally.” Holly collapses onto her mattress next to me.
“You do this every Sunday?”
She nods. “Deal with it now, and then, during the week, I can focus on school and work. If I waited till the last minute to come up with a dinner plan, I’d probably starve.”
I don’t know how she juggles it all. Just reading her day planner intimidated me. No wonder she’d claimed she didn’t have time to date. Guess I’m lucky she found a way to fit me into her schedule. Especially since I’m already taking up some of her precious time by making her go to doctor appointments.
“Is the surgery going to throw you off?” My stomach twists as I realize how much more time I’m stealing from her. I prop myself up on an elbow. “What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t believe we haven’t talked about this. What’s your recovery plan for after the donation?”
Holly reaches up to comb her fingers through my hair. “Dr. Williams says my recovery won’t be as long as yours. I should be in the hospital for only a couple of days, and then I need to keep from doing anything more than walking for a few weeks. So, I’ll stay at Pops’s house for a bit. Probably just play card games and watch movies till classes start up in the spring.”
“What about rent?”
She hasn’t said it outright, but I get the sense that Holly and Terra don’t make much between the two of them. Putting half the team out of commission for a few weeks isn’t going to help.
“I’ve got some savings. And Curt said he’d pay me to take care of the scheduling and accounting for Both Ways, which I can do online while I rest in my bed.” She fiddles with my collar, watching her fingers rather than me.
I’m such an asshole. This can’t be how it’s going to play out. No way am I taking Holly’s organ and then delivering her a financial blow, too. For the first time since the lawyers told me about my inheritance, I’m grateful for the money Grandpa left me.
“You shouldn’t have to worry about all that when you’re recovering. I’ll cover your rent until you’re back at work.”
“What?” That gets her to look at me. “No. I don’t need you to do that. I can get by fine.”
I stare her down. “Of course you can. You’re like a freaking superhero to me. But, even though your surgery isn’t as intense as mine, you’re still dealing with a lot of risks.” I cup her cheek, stroking her soft skin with my thumb. “Please let me help. If I know you’re stressed about money, then I’m gonna be stressed about you making yourself sick, which will then make me sick. You don’t want me to get sick, do you?”
She gives my shoulder a light shove and glares up at me. “You’re suck a sneak! Of course I don’t want you to get sick.”
“Then, say yes.”
“I just …” She shifts, and I suppress a groan as her thigh brushes against my groin. I’ve got to focus. “I don’t want to ask your parents to pay for me.”
“You wouldn’t even have to ask.” She frowns, and I run my thumb over the curve of her plump bottom lip. “But it’s not them. I have some money. Interning at my parents’ law firm over the summer paid well. And Grandpa Ben left me more than just that cabin.”
“No, Ben.” Holly sits up, switching our positions, so now, she’s the one gazing down at me. “There’s no way I’m taking your grandfather’s money from you.”
This independence she has is equally attractive and frustrating. The fact that she can take care of herself, even when life is beating her down, is inspiring. But she needs to learn when to accept help.
