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The way Solon had punished her rapist had gone viral and made national news. Seven other women besides herself had come forward and now he was being prosecuted—not that he could be sent to jail just yet. He was still in the hospital, recovering.
Abbey had agreed to testify, but she was dreading it. She had so much guilt and fear and regret tied up in those awful memories. Part of her felt like if she had come forward, she might have prevented at least some of the other rapes Brander had committed. But almost all of the other survivors were saying the same thing she had felt—that Brander had seemed to be above the law because his father was powerful and they knew they wouldn’t be able to get justice.
Well, Solon had gotten justice for her, Abbey thought bitterly. Surgeons had tried and failed to reattach Brander’s penis and testicles. They had been too mangled and his body had rejected them, so he was effectively a eunuch for the rest of his life.
She took a certain bitter satisfaction in her rapist’s fate, but that was offset by her longing for Solon. She wished now that she hadn’t sent the big Monstrum away. Their time on Tengula Five played over and over in her head. She remembered all the fun they’d had and the way he had loved her so gently and so passionately. She missed the comfort of his arms and the feeling of his warm, furry chest under her cheek as he cradled her close to his big body. And she missed his Bonding Scent—it made her feel so safe and protected when he held her and she inhaled the warm, spicy, wild fragrance that his body made just for her.
But that time was over now, Abbey reminded herself. They were broken up and it was all her fault. Maybe she shouldn’t have gotten so upset over his lie about the exemption. Maybe she shouldn’t have told him she needed time to herself.
He did lie to me, but only because he wanted to be with me so badly. But does that justify him being untruthful?
Abbey didn’t know. She only knew she was mixed up and confused and unhappy and her life, which had seemed so full and perfect just a few weeks ago, now felt flat and empty and lonely.
She knew she ought to get out and do something…but she just didn’t feel like it. So when Aunt Rose invited her to go to the annual Rose Growers Association convention, which they attended every year to find new supply sources for the shop, Abbey turned her down.
“I’m sorry, Aunt Rose—I’m just not up for it this year,” she said with a sigh.
“But honey, I hate to leave you all alone in the house! You’re so depressed since you had that fight with your Monstrum,” her aunt protested.
“He’s not ‘my Monstrum’ anymore,” Abbey said sadly. “And he never will be again.”
“Don’t say that!” Aunt Rose exclaimed. “He still loves you—I’m sure he does!”
“Then why hasn’t he come back to see me or called me?” Abbey demanded. “No, Aunt Rose—we’re broken up for good. I even…even gave him his engagement ring back,” she added and then had to swallow the lump that rose in her throat.
“Oh, honey…” Aunt Rose put her arms around Abbey and squeezed gently. “Don’t give up hope,” she whispered. “I know he still cares for you—you should have seen the way he looked at you! Like you hang the sun and the moon and shine brighter than both of them put together!”
Abbey smiled a little at her aunt’s old-fashioned way of talking.
“Thanks, Aunt Rose, but I think I really made him mad. I don’t blame him for not coming back after the way we ended things.”
“This is foolishness!” Aunt Rose told her. “Just call him, honey!”
“I can’t.” Abbey shook her head. “I broke up with him—he probably never wants to see me again!”
“He cares about you, honey! He punished that horrible Chris Brander for you,” her aunt pointed out. “He did exactly what I would have wanted to do to him if only I had known.”
Abbey could hear the reproach in her aunt’s voice. Rose still hadn’t forgiven her for not telling her about the attack right after it had happened. She sighed and shook her head.
“Look, Aunt Rose, just go on to the convention. I’ll stay here and listen to my favorite audiobooks and watch some old movies and eat lots of chocolate. I’ll be fine.”
“I still say you should call him,” her aunt said with a sigh. “This is just a big misunderstanding between the two of you. I can tell you still love him—it’s plain as the nose on your face! And I’m sure he feels the same way. Just think about it, please?”
“I’ll think about it,” Abbey promised her, though she doubted she would. Her heart was still sore with wounded pride. And she was still irritated that the big Monstrum had lied to her. She just couldn’t see herself calling him, even though she missed him terribly. And she doubted he wanted to call her either.
In the end, Aunt Rose went to the convention on her own and Abbey stayed in the house. She decided to put on Dirty Dancing and just veg on the couch—she loved the old movies she and her girlfriends had watched at slumber parties when they were kids. They had seen them so many times that Abbey could still “see” every scene in her mind’s eye as she listened to the dialogue coming from the TV.
As she watched the movie, she had to explain parts of it to Spex, who was fascinated by it. The little Eye-pet had been a lifesaver these past few weeks. It was his unconditional love that kept Abbey going, even when she wanted to just stay in bed and rot. He had a nest on her nightstand and his sweet little voice in her ear was the first thing she heard every morning and the last thing she heard every night.
“Pretty Abbey, why is the movie called ‘Dancing Dirty’ when none of the dancers has dirt on them?” he asked her.
“Well, actually it’s Dirty Dancing,” Abbey corrected him.
“Yes, Spex sees them dancing but none of them needs a bath,” the little Eye-pet protested. “And why does the main dance-man say nobody can put Baby in the corner? Spex didn’t see anyone trying to do that to her. She is dancing all around with the dance-man—not standing in the corner.”
“Well, when he talks about putting her in the corner, what he really means is—” Abbey started to explain.
“Abbey? Pretty Abbey?” Spex interrupted her and she noticed that his little voice was suddenly softer and there was a note of fear in it.
