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“After your father died,” he continues, “I hoped that Mary would give me a chance.”
My eyebrows go up in surprise. I did not see this coming.
“She was always the sweetest fucking woman.”
I’m not sure I like where this is going. I don’t want to hear about my mother’s possible love life, if this is what he wants to share with me.
“But all she cared about was your safety.”
The wind gets knocked out of my lungs.
“Anytime I asked her if she needed me to come over, she’d only ask me if I would make sure you are okay. She stayed loyal to your father until the day she didn’t know who she was anymore.”
I start fidgeting with the shot glass that’s still sitting on the bar in front of me.
“You becoming a member of my club was one of my proudest moments as a president. I hoped you’d come up in rank until, one day, I could pass the torch on to you.”
I clench my jaw hard enough to crack a tooth. He’s never shared any of this with me before. In fact, he never showed any favoritism toward me or any of the other club brothers.
“I always knew I could count on you no matter what,” he continues.
He leans forward and rests his elbows on the bar, looking somewhere into the distance. His eyes look glazed over, like he is playing a film in his head, watching all the what-could’ve-been’s.
“I’ve always trusted you with my life.”
This time, he lifts his eyes to meet mine. Shards of ice pierce my very soul when I see the emotionless way with which he is staring at me.
“Until I found out you broke my trust.”
My mouth goes dry. I want to say so many things to him. I want to explain myself, tell him that not saving Ruby would’ve been like losing a limb, that it was a feeling I could not explain.
Instead, I say nothing. I remain quiet and wait him out. He is going somewhere with this, and there will be hell to pay one way or another.
He walks around the bar and comes to stand in front of me. It takes everything in me not to flinch. But I’ll be damned if I showed him an ounce of fear. Do I want to die tonight? No. But I will not fight it either.
“Time to go to church, Hawk.”
He pats me on the back twice before turning around without waiting to see if I follow him or not. The gun at my back reminds me that I could easily leave here tonight. If I took him out, he wouldn’t have to act as judge as executioner of my demise. But then, I wouldn’t be the man he taught me to be.
Pushing the shot glass away from me, I watch as it slides off the wooden bar and falls to the ground. It breaks into a million little pieces. That’s how I imagine my life ending tonight.
I stand up and follow my president to our church room. When I enter it, he is already at the head of the table. All the other brothers who are high enough in ranks to be here are sitting around it. Winger is the only one who meets my eyes, and I hate the pain I see in them. As expected, this will not end well.
When I notice that my usual seat is open, I walk over and sit down. I place my arms on the table and wait. Prez hits the gavel against the table, the sound a lot louder than normal.
“Church is in session.”
He looks around the table, making sure to make eye contact with every single member, myself included.
“As you all know,” he starts, “we were contacted by a very well-connected businessman to assist with eliminating the Steel Lizards MC.”
“Businessman.” Winger coughs into his fist before snorting in laughter.
“Time and place, Winger,” Prez gives him a warning look.
“Yes, sir.”
“Hawk was heavily involved in the mission,” Prez informs everyone at the table. “And it was a success. There was a lot of money involved, and it hit our coffers just as expected. Everyone’s pay day should be a lot higher than the norm.”
