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I nod at everything he tells me to do, hoping that I will remember it when I actually have to do it.
“Have your cash ready now,” he instructs.
I take the backpack off my shoulders, then have to rest it on his bike to look inside.
“Just have some extra in your pocket. You don’t want to have to look in the bag for it with a bunch of weirdoes seeing you have all this money in there.”
I nod again before pulling out enough cash for a ticket and for spending money. Once done, I zip up the bag and throw it back on my shoulders.
Hawk hooks a finger into the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie. I will treasure it forever.
“You’re going to be okay,” he assures me, even though he has no way of knowing that.
“I hope you will be okay, too.” My voice comes out raspy from the effort I’m making not to cry.
“It always works out,” he smirks at me. “One way or another.”
His phone dings in the pocket of his cut. He pulls it out, and I watch as his eyes move over the text he received.
“You have to go,” I whisper when he looks back up at me. He doesn’t confirm it with words, but it is clear on his face.
I take a step forward and place a soft kiss on his lips. Earlier when we were naked, I told him that I thought I loved him. I don’t think I love him. I know I do, and I will carry this picture of him in my mind for the rest of my days.
“Goodbye, Hawk.”
His mouth lifts into a sad smile. “Goodbye, babe.”
I turn around and force myself to walk away from him. The heels of the boots he gifted me when we left that cheap motel all those weeks ago are now clicking on the pavement, reminding me with each step that this is the smartest solution to all my problems.
My heart is breaking into a million pieces the closer I get to the entrance to the building. I resist the urge to look back and see if he’s still watching me. I know he hasn’t left yet because I didn’t hear his bike starting.
The doors slide open as soon as I get close enough for the sensors to pick me up. I step inside, but instead of walking straight to the window where you can purchase the tickets, I find a dark corner by the bathrooms and press myself against the wall.
Panic sets in, and I have a hard time breathing. It all crashes into me at once. I am on my own once again, trying to figure out a way to survive. Except for the fact that this time I have so much more to lose. My financial stability has been yanked from under me, and I am losing the man I am in love with. Not to mention that I have people after me to kidnap and sell me into a sex trafficking ring.
I burst into tears, then try to cover my mouth with both hands to camouflage the sound of the sobs ripping from my soul. I don’t need to bring any attention to myself, but I do need a minute to let it all out.
I slide down the wall until my butt hits the floor. I rest my forehead on top of my knees and let the tears soak into my jeans. The backpack digs into my ribs a little, making it uncomfortable, but I am too distraught to care.
Time loses meaning while I sit on the floor of this bus station. I cry until I can’t anymore, then decide to take the bull by the horns and do what Hawk told me to. Buy a ticket to a place as far away from here as possible.
The cell phone in my back pocket also reminds me that I need to call my money guy to ask him about how I can get access to it without leading anyone to my destination. It’ll be interesting explaining this one to him.
I wipe at my wet cheeks, deciding that I can do this. I’ve done it before with much less. So what if I have to start over in a new state? At least I’ll be alive, right?
My head hurts a little when I look around me, and I almost jump out of my skin when I notice someone watching me intently. The man is incredibly tall and equally wide. He wears a fancy suit, his head is bald, making his dark skin glisten in the neon lights above us.
I get up from the floor and try to recompose myself. Going to the bathroom is not an option since I don’t want to be in there by myself. That would be like inviting trouble.
Pretending like I didn’t notice him looking, I pull my shoulders back, and, with my head held high despite my blotchy from crying face, I start walking toward the ticket counter.
“Excuse me, miss,” the man calls after me, his voice sounding very deep, to match the massive size of him.
I ignore him and continue walking. As a last resort, I am prepared to scream the place down.
“Miss, just a word, please,” he insists.
I walk faster, now regretting the fact that I stopped in the back when I first entered the building. Hawk told me I was smart, and that I would be able to do this, but it hasn’t even been an hour yet, and I messed it all up.
