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“She’s been very unsettled lately,” she tells me. “None of the medications we gave her work. I submitted her name for an experimental treatment, but chances of getting approved are very slim.”
“What is she doing?”
The last time I saw my mother, while she didn’t know who I was, she was calm and just doing her thing.
“She is crying a lot now. She refuses to eat, and you will find that she has lost a great deal of weight. She is very disruptive to the other patients.”
A lump forms in the back of my throat. I hate hearing this about the only human who always gave me unconditional love. I have made a lot of sacrifices to get her the best possible care, and I will not stop now.
“What are the options if she doesn’t get approved for the experimental drugs?”
Mrs. Clarence looks away from me, like she is scared to meet my eyes.
“We would like to recommend her for a transfer to the Somerset community.”
Blood freezes in my veins. That is where they send them when they don’t think they can help them anymore. It is a nightmare there. I actually visited the place while looking for a facility for my mom, and Somerset is the one that resembled a mental institution the most.
“Fuck that.” I shake my head at her, not even caring that the language I’m using will offend her.
“Mr. Paulson, I assure you that…”
I check the time and realize that it’s a lot later than I was hoping. I grab Ruby’s hand and stand up, forcing her up with me.
“Let me see my mother.”
“Mr. Paulson, please let me explain that…”
“No.”
I am done with this conversation, for now at least. I will need to speak with my president about it. Hell, I might even ask Devereaux about it. He seems to have better connections than we ever had.
“Very well.” Mrs. Clarence gives me another sad smile before standing up herself.
We follow her as she leads us to where my mother’s room is. I can hear screaming as soon as we enter the long hallway. There is only one voice involved in it, and I understand why they would find it disruptive toward the other patients.
At first, it is hard to make out the words she’s saying. Mrs. Clarence opens the door, and we all walk in. That’s when it all makes sense to me.
“Hawkeye,” my mother screams for me, even though she can’t see me. “You promised that you’d get Hawkeye for me. He is my son! I want my son!”
The screams almost sound like they’re not human, and despite the fact that I am now standing right in front of her, she has no idea it is me she is crying for.
I’m not sure when is the last time I heard her calling me by my name, let alone my full first name like that. It was a game we used to play when I was a kid. I hated the name, and she’d tease me to death with it. Sometimes, I’d pretend to be really mad about it, and she’d bake me a cake to make up for it.
Now, I am watching her screaming Hawkeye over and over again, but I don’t have it in me to comfort her.
“We gave her enough medication to put a horse to sleep.” Mrs. Clarence gives me a sympathetic look. “It all just seems to incite her more.”
I let go of Ruby’s hand and take a step forward, then another, until I am standing next to the bed.
“Hawkeye!” She screams right then, but her eyes seem blind to anything around her.
“I’m right here, mom,” I tell her, hoping that it does something.
Her head snaps back at hearing my voice. She turns her head and looks at me. For a second, I think she recognizes me. I jump back when she lets out a blood curling scream.
“What did you do to my boy?” she yells.
A group of people surround the bed, hands holding her back when she tries to get up and possibly attack me. I take a step back and watch, unsure of how to proceed. I hate seeing her like this.
