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“What girls?”
Hawk squints his eyes at me in suspicion.
“Why are you asking so many questions?”
I feel sick to my stomach. I just messed up, and I don’t know how to fix it.
“I-I’m not sure,” I stutter. “Curiosity, I guess,” I chuckle nervously.
Hawk lifts and arm up, bringing his hand close to my face. I jump when he touches my bottom lip, pressing on it and doing a good job of smearing my lipstick.
“Curiosity killed the cat, sweetheart,” he smiles at me. “And I’d hate to kill you.”
My eyes fill with instant tears, giving myself away. I can’t control my emotions as they crash into me. The instinct to flee is strong, so I push myself away from him and get back on my feet in no time, the high heels presenting no challenge in that regard.
“I’m really sorry,” I cry out. I press both hands to my eyes, focusing on nothing but my heartbeat. I learned a while ago that it helps centering me when I feel a panic attack coming.
A voice penetrates through the fog shrouding my brain.
“You’re not in trouble.”
I nod in response, but it’s mostly reflex. I am not capable of understanding much at the moment. In my head, I keep track of my heartbeats, and every ten seconds, I hold my breath, count to ten, let it all out.
“Good girl,” the same voice as before tells me. “You’re doing so well.”
I almost scream when two heavy hands drop on my shoulders and start massaging while the voice keeps on whispering encouraging words in my ear.
I’m not sure how much time passes until I feel strong enough to lower my hands from my eyes. When I look down, I realize with horror that the fake eyelashes I put on earlier in the evening have come off and are now stuck to the palms of my hands.
“A little better now?” Hawk asks from where he’s standing in front of me. I didn’t even realize he’d moved from where he was sitting. His hands are on my shoulders, strong fingers pressing on all my sensitive points there.
When I look at him, he frowns a little.
“You look different…”
I look back down at my hands, the fake eyelashes still there.
“I really need to go now,” I whisper. But then I realize that our session is not yet over. “Unless…”
I hesitate, unsure of how to say the next part.
“Unless what?”
Taking a deep breath, I look back up. “Unless you wanted to fuck.”
He drops his hands from my shoulders and takes a step back. He crosses his arms over his chest and watches me thoughtfully. It’s as if he is actually pondering whether he wants to fuck me or not.
“Nah, not tonight,” he finally says.
Disappointment floods my body. It’s as if I somehow failed despite the fact that I was hoping he’d say no.
“Are you done here for tonight?”
I’m not sure what he wants to know, and Hawk reads my confusion correctly.
“Are you done with your shift, or do you have other clients lined up?”
I try to think, but I’m pretty sure I am free to go home once I am done with him. He blocked a lot of my time.
