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“It’s totally fine,” Chloe’s soothing voice reassures me, and I almost fall into her when she pulls me inside her apartment. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” I start crying and I can’t make myself stop. I want to stop, I swear I do, but my chest is burning from the deep sobs wrecking my entire body. “I thought I saw this guy who I used to know,” I try explaining, although I see my cousin looking at me like I am a mental patient. “It’s a really long story, and I don’t know…” I hesitate, unsure of how much I actually want to open up to her. “It brought back memories.”
I struggle to swallow around the knot that’s formed in the back of my throat. I am not doing well at all. I take a deep breath in, and then another, relying on Chloe to bring me back from the pit of despair I have suddenly found myself in.
“What guy?” Chloe finally says, the calmness long gone. Now she sounds like she’s ready to kick some ass first, ask all the questions later. “Did he hurt you?”
I start crying again, just when I thought I had everything under control. I drop my face in my hands and just cry until I feel like I have no more tears left in me.
“He didn’t hurt me,” I mumble through snot and sobs, my words muffled by my hands. “He would never hurt me.”
“Then what is it? I don’t understand.” Chloe drops on the floor next to the chair I am sitting on. She is working hard at being supportive, but I know I am not making any sense.
“It’s me,” I finally confess, breaking my own heart all over again all these years later. “It’s all me. I’m the one who hurt him. Zach,” I whisper loud enough for her to hear.
“What happened with Zach, babe?” Chloe’s soothing voice reaches me once again.
I am just about to open my mouth and tell her more, when, out of the corner of my eye, I catch movement. I turn my head and notice Van Boyd, hunky boyfriend of Chloe and the best defense the Sliders have ever had, staring at me like I just grew another head.
“I’m so sorry, Chlo,” I start wiping at my face furiously. “I didn’t realize you had company. Call me when you can, okay?”
“Hunter, don’t go. Van doesn’t mind you being here, I swear,” Chloe insists, but I need to get out of here. Like my life was not miserable enough, now my favorite hockey player witnessed me losing my shit in my cousin’s living room.
Hockey’s always been pretty big in our household. Me and my dad would never miss a game on TV. Once in a while, he’d surprise me with tickets, and we’d go to watch whoever the Chicago Hawks played. Good times.
I miss those simpler times, I realize as I make my way back to my parents’ place. I pull into my designated spot and sigh. I really don’t want to be here. Not after my meltdown. Dealing with my mother right now will turn me inside out.
“Hi, honey,” I jump when she knocks on my window. I didn’t realize she was out here. From the looks of it, she’s been working on her flower beds.
“Hi, mom,” I grab my bag and hurry out of the car. My plan is to run up to my room and just stay there for a while. But things are not looking up for me.
“Stay out here with me. It’s beautiful weather, isn’t it?” Mom’s cheery voice reaches my ears just as I’m about to take the first step leading up to their front porch.
“It’s beautiful,” I agree in a monotone voice.
“I was hoping Brooke would stop by with Levi today, but I think she was busy,” Mom continues like we’re always having easy conversations like this one. We hardly had any in a long time now.
“Maybe she’ll stop by later,” I now tell her, my chest getting tight when I think of Brooke and her possible connection to Zach. Could it be…
“Hunter,” my mom walks a little closer to me, like she wants to give me a hug, but she stops herself just before going for it.
“I think I need to go lie down,” I mumble and turn my back to her.
“I’m sorry,” Mom blurts, stopping me in my track. I turn around very slowly and force myself to make eye contact with her.
“What are you sorry for?”
“For what happened seven years ago. For what I said to you then,” her voice gets shaky but her eyes don’t waver from mine. “I’m sorry I forced you to make a decision you didn’t want to make. I’ve regretted it since then…”
“What good is that to me now?” My hands start shaking again. I wrap my fingers around the straps of my bag, trying to pretend that I am calm.
“I never meant to hurt you like that, Hunter. I didn’t know…”
“You didn’t care!” I take a step toward her and scream, her grief stricken face now etched into my brain. “You didn’t care,” I repeat in a much lower voice. “I loved him. So much. I think I still do.”
“Hunter,” she is crying now, but I don’t care. Let her cry like I cried for Zach for so long.
“He loved me too, you know?” I let out a sad laugh. “I broke his heart. And for what? For a job. I hate my job now.”
