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“Great deduction. How can I help you?”
He scratches the pup’s head. “Yeah, so … my brother, he owns the place next door. I kind of surprised him with this little pup. It wasn’t him walking around last night. That was me. I wasn’t aware I was on your property.”
“And this afternoon, when your brother was letting”—the cutest little thing—“the dog poop in my side yard, was that your fault, too?”
Both Francesca and Fawna look at me as if they’re shocked and appalled by my behavior, and I mean, same, but still.
“Had Muffy gone, there’s a little cylinder of baggies on the leash.” He points to exactly that. “Had she gone last night, I promise I’d have cleaned it up. Been a couple days, poor girl.”
“Now that everything’s all cleared up, you can go back to being neighborly, right, CeCe?” Francesca states more than asks, giving me no way of saying hell no.
Yet, I have bigger concerns than that.
“How long has it been since the dog has relieved itself?”
“Over two days now, and?—”
I gasp. “Puppies go up to five times a day.”
“Really?” he asks.
Fawna kisses the little one’s head. “She’d know. She’s a vet?—”
“Tech. I’m a vet tech.”
Tell a stranger you’re a vet, especially one who’s a new pet parent—specifically a neighbor—and you might as well let them move in so you can take on all responsibility yourself.
“Yeah, my brother’s been calling around to find a vet to see if this is normal or not, but there isn’t an animal hospital open close by.”
He’s right. The closest veterinary emergency hospital is an hour away.
“He should have had a vet picked out before he even got a pet.”
“Which is why Muffy is sleeping on his lap and I’m in the doghouse. My bad.”
“A pet is not a responsible gift to give,” I tactfully scold him.
“Cecilia,” Francesca says in a motherly way, “why don’t you use your resources and help your neighbor out?”
I cross my arms because I’m seconds from snatching little Muffy up and keeping her, but I’m just not ready to have a pet. And that’s when I get a light-bulb moment.
“There is something you could try that might help, but it needs to be done outside.”
“I’ll try anything.”
Outside, the sun is just beginning to set as I hold out a pair of gloves and some lube.
He looks at my hand then back at me as Muffy circles around his legs, tangling him up. “You wanna give me some context?”
“Anal stimulation.”
“You want me to stick a finger in her ass?”
Fawna and Francesca both giggle quietly, and I turn and give them a look of warning.
Then I point to the neighbor’s yard. “Over there.”
“Look, I’m not sure I’m comfortable throwing a finger in a dog’s ass. I mean, even when I’m with a woman, that’s like second-date shit right there.”
