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And a woman showing up was the last thing I wanted.
This place is too volatile for someone like Callista. It will destroy her eventually. I will.
I shake my head. “No, I have sources, people who can find me anything I need and get it to me quickly.”
“But how?” Her soft brow furrows. “You don’t allow anyone on the mountain and…” She stops, her steps faltering as her words trail off. “Are you driving down from the house each time you need to pick something up?”
I tighten my hands around the edge of the table and avert my gaze from hers, not wanting to admit that’s exactly what I’ve been doing because I want her to be comfortable. I need for her not to hate it here completely, and maybe deep down, because I didn’t want her to hate me completely, even though that would be best for both of us.
But she’s too smart for me to lie about it. There’s only one way anything gets up the mountain—with me.
Clearing my throat, I nod. “I meet them at the base of the mountain at the turn-in, where you should’ve stayed.”
She scowls at me, the twist in her pink lips so adorable it almost makes me laugh. “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”
“For what?”
“Regret.”
Christ, she’s so naïve.
One thing her father did well—right or wrong—was shelter her from the harsh realities of this world. And apparently, even showing it to her the other night hasn’t been enough to teach her the lesson I had hoped it would.
“It’s never too late for regrets, Beauty.”
I have held on to mine for decades, and having this woman here is only adding to them exponentially. “Just let me know what you need…”
“Time…” Her brow draws low, and she tears her gaze from me to scan the room. “There are more books in here than any one person could possibly read in an entire lifetime.”
I nod slowly. “I know. I’ve lived in this house for over fifty years, and I’ve barely made a dent.”
She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, worrying it as she peeks at me out of the corner of her eye. “Is that what you’re doing up here? Trying to make your way through all the books?”
I can hear the hesitation in her voice.
Callista knows she shouldn’t be asking me questions, and I sure as fuck shouldn’t be answering them. But the response slips out all the same because I find it hard to deny this woman anything.
“I do anything I can to take my mind off the things I don’t want to be thinking about.”
Mostly her.
Her gaze whips to meet mine, and it’s her turn to look shaken. “Have you spent much time up here since I arrived?”
“All of it.”
Save for my taking care of necessary duties on the property and trying to physically exhaust myself to forget about her, I’ve spent every moment up here, at this table. Even the few moments of actual sleep I may have gotten over the past week have been with my head dropped to its smooth surface.
Instead of recoiling at my response, instead of fear flashing in her gaze as I expect the admission to elicit, heat pushes a blush up her neck and over her cheeks and something I never expected to see in her emerald eyes stares back at me—desire.
Fuck.
I rip my gaze from hers and shove off from the desk. The place I’ve always been safe in this house has now become the most dangerous part of the property with this woman in it.
I need to get out.
Away from her.
I take a step toward the door, but Callista manages to insert herself directly in my path, moving far faster than I expected her to be able to on her still-healing foot.
