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"Pearl--"
I put up a hand to stop his words. "I thought you loved me, River. I thought we were going to have a baby together. But it was all just lies." I shake my head, disbelieving.
"I do love you, Pearl."
"Bullshit! That's just total bullshit."
An aggravated expression passes over his features. "Don't tell me what I feel."
I stand up, pacing away from the couch.
"How can I believe that you love me when almost everything you've ever said to me was a lie?"
River cuts his eyes at me. "Don't be dramatic."
"Don't be a traitor!" I yell. I feel flushed and unhinged.
"So, what? You're breaking up with me?" he demands.
"Yeah, River. I am breaking up with you. God, you know, you really had me fooled. Turns out I am just incredibly naive to think that someone like you would deign to be with someone like me."
"That's not fair," he growls.
"Well, neither is life. But there you have it." I cross my arms. "I think you should leave before you disappoint me again. That’s the worst thing you could ever do."
He flinches. "Pearl, I think we should keep talking."
I point to the front door. "I want you out."
He stands up and studies me for half a minute. I'm shaking, full of emotions. He opens his mouth, starts to say something. Then thinks better of it and shakes his head. "I'll go to my place for the night," he says. "When you've cooled off, call me. It's not as bad as Bishop made it out to be. I swear."
I stalk to the front door, swing it open, and motion for him to leave. I am barely keeping it together and if he doesn't go right now, he's going to see me break down and cry.
He doesn't deserve to see me be vulnerable.
Tensing his jaw, he picks up his keys and walks out of the cabin. I slam the door shut after him and run to my bed.
The tears start pouring down my face the second I sink into the mattress and press my face against River's pillow.
It smells clean and masculine, just like River himself.
Thirty-Nine
Pearl
My house is as quiet as a morgue at midnight. The housekeeper came by every week to dust and gather the mail, so at least the place is spic and span. But after living with Pearl in that tiny trailer and fixing up the cabin for her, my house seems empty and depressing.
I lie on my bed, arms flopped out wide, trying to think of what to do. How can I prove that I really love Pearl when I am actively trying to sell her Aunt Delta's land and profit wildly?
I don't know. The ceiling fan turns above my head and I try to count its lazy revolutions. I lose count after fifteen and close my eyes with a sigh.
Pearl seemed very done with me yesterday. Will she still be angry and disappointed in me today?
The doorbell chimes and I sit up. My heart begins to pound. There's no time like the present to figure out if I've completely fucked up my life or not.
When I open the door, Pearl is standing there, looking vexed. Seeing her feels like taking a Valium. It’s near immediate relief and relaxation, even though that’s not really appropriate for the circumstances.
Pearl thrusts a small duffel bag at me and it hits me squarely in the solar plexus. I grunt; the wind is knocked out of me and for a few seconds, I breathe funny.
