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“Behave,” he growls. “You’re not ready for me yet.”
“Says who?” I growl back, annoyed and aroused.
“Says me,” he hisses before he captures my lips in a brutal kiss. He nips my bottom lip, making me bleed, and I moan into his mouth, desperate for more. “Now be a good girl and go sit back in the crowd.”
“You really are a devil,” I snarl as he helps me off the bike before dismounting himself.
His eyes meet mine, the black irises so dark, they seem to suck in all the light. “Did you forget, Queen?” he teases. “Just because it sometimes feels like heaven doesn’t mean you’re not very much in hell.” He kisses me one last time as Club appears with his shirt and coat. “We’re all devils here, even you, but especially me.”
He winks and rushes into the ring to talk to the crowd again. I scowl after him, needy and desperate, and when Club smirks at me, my scowl deepens.
“One of you better fuck me as soon as the show’s over,” I warn him, “or else someone’s going to bleed.”
Club’s grin widens. “I’ll pass the message along.”
Chapter
Thirty-Six
By the time the show ends, there’s a transition period of taking things down and putting the animals to bed, so I’m left needy. Although I’m still aroused, I remember where I am and what our duties are. I know things can wait, but it still irks me. To take my mind off it, I join in and help clean up, thinking the quicker things are finished, the quicker I can get what I want, but by the time the lights are lowered and the last guest is sent on their way, I’m no longer so on edge. Arousal is a muted hum in the back of my mind. Instead, I focus on the lights around me.
The string lights are still on to guide us to our tents. Soon, even those will be turned down and only a few lights will remain. Tomorrow, the show will go on again, and then the next day, until we move on and repeat the same process. We may be in this area a little longer, though, because it sits in the middle of three different towns. Each night, the show brings in a variety of people, but rarely repeat customers. They come to see the show once, and the temptation of it scares them. Once is enough for them, but I’ll never get enough of it.
“I thought I’d find you out here,” a voice says behind me.
I don’t turn around to look. I already knew who it was before he spoke. Diamond walks with a certain flare the others don’t have, as if every step is a performance.
“Have you come to tease me?” I ask, but the words lack the venom they might have had earlier. Exhaustion dances at the edges of my mind now, and although I’d love to fuck Diamond into oblivion, he made himself clear. Whatever beast he thinks he is, he doesn’t believe I’m ready for it all alone.
Whatever.
“Perhaps,” he muses before taking a seat next to me. We’re sitting on the edge of a wooden stage used for various acts. It’s stored outside when we’re not using it, and it creates a perfect place to watch as the lights start going out across the cirque.
“Great,” I say, glancing over at him with a raised brow. “Well, let’s see it. What do you have for me?”
His smile is gentle, far gentler than I’ve ever seen it before. It gives him a boyish appearance that would melt most women. For me, however, it reminds me that he hasn’t been innocent in a long time, and that it probably happened violently.
“You’re irritated with me,” he observes.
“Of course I am,” I reply, rolling my eyes. “You worked me up in front of a crowd and then left me wanting. What woman wouldn’t be a little agitated after that?” I tilt my head. “I’m not mad though. Your responsibility is to the cirque first.”
“You’re a part of that responsibility,” he remarks before reaching out to take my hand. “I can’t leave you needy.”
“I’m fine.” I huff, crossing my arms. “Don’t worry about it.”
His dark chuckle should be threatening, but instead, it shoots straight to my core and I’m reminded just how much I want him.
He’s silent for a few moments, as if waiting for something, and when another light goes off amongst the tents, his fingers stroke my palm. “I grew up in the cirque, you know,” he says, drawing my attention. “My father raised me here. He was a daredevil himself, and he was good at it. When I was little, I wanted to be just like him.”
“Are you?” I ask.
“Yes and no,” he admits. “I was a daredevil before I became the ringmaster, and I was better than my father was. He didn’t like that, even if he wasn’t able to perform anymore, but that’s where our similarities end. He was weak and often afraid. He hadn’t really wanted a child, and I think he spent more time with me during performances than he ever did outside of them. When my mother died, and he was forced to make the decision to take me in or send me away to an orphanage, and he took me only because Hilda told him I was meant to be here.” He meets my eyes. “He wasn’t the best man, but he was my father.”
I study him for a moment, drinking him in, before I nod. “My father is the reason I was able to come to the cirque as a child, the reason I saw you. My mother didn’t like it, thought it was improper, but my father indulged me often. He was a good man, but when he died, we were easy prey for Roger.” I sigh. “That’s to say the men in our lives shape us, yes, but they aren’t all that we are. I can tell you think you have more of him in you than you do.” I lean forward and cup his jaw. “You said we’re all devils, and that’s fine, but that doesn’t make us bad. Not really. It just makes us misunderstood.”
He blinks in surprise. He’s not wearing his ringmaster coat anymore, only his shirt and pants.
“You know, sometimes I forget what you suffered before you came here,” he murmurs. “You wear your anger so well.”
