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My eyes linger on the flour handprint on his jawline. “And what do you enjoy?” I ask curiously.
He leans in with a grin. “Performing,” he says. “Putting people on the edge of their seats.” He leans closer until his breath fans across my cheeks. “And killing,” he whispers. “I really enjoy killing.”
Something stirs low in my belly, and I lose my breath, but before I can answer, he leans back with a grin.
“Anyways, Queen, I have things to do. I’ll find you later and we can discuss other ways you can mark me. Maybe I’ll even let you give me a tattoo.”
“But I’m not a tattoo artist,” I reply, frowning.
“I know.” He laughs. “Isn’t it great? See you soon!”
I’m left staring after him, flour on my face and my hands, wondering why on earth this whole interaction left me breathless and hungry for more.
Chapter
Thirteen
What I like, what I enjoy.
The words circle around my head as I leave the kitchen for the day. After my encounter with Heart, I don’t feel the same energy or passion to be there. I worried what the others would say, but they waved me away with knowing looks. It seems everyone here knows their place, where they belong, and what they enjoy. I’m just a spare part. Even at the circus, I feel like an outcast.
Maybe that’s why I wander through its beauty, taking everything in once more. I want to belong to this place. I made an oath, but what happens if I’m useless to them? Will they leave me behind? I know my old worries are rearing their ugly heads, but it sticks, and I know I need to find a purpose.
I need to find a passion, a place, and if it brings me joy like Heart said, then all the better. It has been a very long time since anything did, though, so I don’t know if I would even recognize the feeling now.
The bright colors of the circus blend into one as I struggle through the tents on my crutches. Everyone is busy preparing for the show tonight or resting, and no one pays me any attention, as if I am invisible. They have all accepted that I am here, but none have dared to get close to me. It makes me curious just how many of us arrive randomly since they are so accustomed to it.
It also makes me curious about their stories, even Diamond, Heart, Club and Spade—not that they will tell me. Despite them swearing me in or saving me, they have left me to my own devices except for checking on me quietly every now and then. Sometimes they appear when my nightmares are particularly bad, as if they call to them, which is an even scarier thought.
I’m lost in my worries when I stumble over a leftover popcorn tub. Righting myself, I lean over and pick it up, hobbling over to a bin so none of the animals that roam the grounds during the day eat it. That’s another thing that shocked me. They truly meant it. There are no cages here.
As I turn from the trash can, my eyes land on a familiar tent. I haven’t seen her since my first days here, and something inside me whispers for me to go in. It’s that dark voice that often whispered for me to pick up the knife and end Roger at the dinner table. It isn’t one I should listen to, but I find myself moving closer, as if I’m drawn by forces beyond my control. Before I even realize it, I’ve pushed through the flap, and I see her sitting there, waiting. A deck of cards lies on the table before her, and her eyes are on mine like she was expecting me.
She smiles. “I’ve been waiting for you, Queen.”
Chapter
Fourteen
“What do you mean?” I ask, even as I head over and sit in the chair opposite her, just like when I was a child. Not much has changed in here despite how much I have. She’s older, the years only making her more beautiful and mysterious, and I watch her hand hover over the cards before flipping them all to reveal the queens of each suit lined up.
“They told me you would come,” she replies.
“The cards?” I question. I should scoff, but I have seen things here in my short time that make me believe her. This is no regular circus. Things happen at Cirque Obscurum that are unnatural and impossible.
Despite the strangeness and intense herbal smell, I feel at ease here. My worries disappear, and my muscles relax. I sit forward, eager to hear what she will tell me.
“I knew you would find your way to me eventually. You did back then, and you have now. I can teach you, Ember.” I jerk my head up from the cards, and she waves her hands. They flip over once more. “I can teach you to read cards. I can teach you to be like me if you wish.” She waits, her hand hovering over the cards as if waiting for me to pick my own future. There’s no pressure as she waits curiously to see what I will do.
I could walk away and find something else to do, but my heart thrums in here. My eagerness and curiosity get the better of me. Something tells me that in order for me to know this cirque better and the men within it, I must first understand it, and that begins here.
“I’d like that.”
The smile she bestows upon me makes me sit up taller, and when she waves her hands, the cards flip once more. Lined up in order are diamond, spade, club, heart, and queen. Does the order mean something? I don’t know, but she flips them once more and shuffles them.
“Then let us begin. There’s no time better than the present. There are many things you must understand to read the cards, to read the future of those who come to you. Here, you must suspend your ideals of your world and reality. Here, everything is not as it seems. Things you couldn’t even imagine are real. This is where magic lives. Within the cards are the past, present, and future. Everything is linked in this world, Ember. Everything has a tie leading somewhere. People fear the dark because they know the truth we only accept here—that magic is real and alive.”
I meet her eyes, my heart racing. “And cirque?—”
