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“Ember,” he says by way of greeting in a voice thick with honey. “I heard you were awake.”
I blink up at him. “You remember me?”
He frowns and glances at Spade as if to ask if I’m still ill. “Of course I remember you. We brought you here a week ago. We’ve all checked on you while you recovered.”
My heart falls. He doesn’t remember me. Not as a child. I suppose I look nothing like my old self, like the child who was able to dance between the circus tents with a carefree freedom I never had as an adult. Still, some small part of me hoped I made as much of an impact on him as he made on me, but that’s silly. I was one of thousands he’s probably seen, and I’m not nearly that special.
I straighten my back and face him, taking in his sharp jawline and strong nose. “Spade tells me you can explain why I’m here.” I gesture between us, barely balancing on the crutches. Spade steadies me when I start to go down, but neither comment on it. “Go on then,” I encourage. “Explain.”
Diamond glances from me to Spade and back again, his dark eyes absorbing the lights into their depths. Amusement flickers on his lips before he shrugs. “Very well. You have a choice to make.”
“A choice?” I repeat.
He nods and takes a step closer, invading my space. “To leave this place and never return, never speak of it again, or . . .”
“Or what?” I prompt when he doesn’t continue.
His head tilts to the side, and he reaches up to cup my chin. I let him, not wanting to fight this man, and I’m glad I don’t when the rough texture of his fingers touches my chin and tilts it up, warming me. He holds me there, his eyes piercing mine.
“Or you can stay here and swear your soul to Cirque Obscurum,” he finishes. “You will belong to her, and she will belong to you, and you will never know what it feels like to be caged again.”
My heart beats loudly in my ears. “Never?” I ask, hope in my chest.
“Never,” he repeats and then grins. “Unless it’s part of your act, that is.”
Spade leans in. “You don’t have to decide now. You can?—”
“I’m staying,” I interrupt, glancing at him but ultimately focusing on Diamond. It’s an instantaneous reaction, something deep inside me answering without even letting me think. “I choose to stay.”
Diamond grins and presses his forehead against mine. His scent of smoke and coconut surrounds me, and I nearly swallow my tongue as he hums.
“The only proper choice, darkling,” he purrs. “I’ll see you at three a.m. for the ceremony.”
He leaves me there standing with Spade, breathless and aching despite my injuries. When he’s gone, his words sink in.
“Wait. Ceremony?”
Chapter
Nine
The crutches slow me down, and despite wanting to explore the circus, I’m still healing. After watching me struggle, Spade scoops me into his arms again and carries me back to my tent. It’s something he seems to do without thought. He lays me down on the bed before righting the blankets around me and tucking me in. “Try to rest. We’ll come for you when it’s time.”
As he goes to step back, I catch his arm so he looks at me once more. “What ceremony?”
“You chose to stay, habibti. You must make that promise now,” he answers darkly, the amber in his eyes turning molten.
“To you?” I murmur.
“No.” The sly grin he gives me sends my heart racing. “To the heart of this place, to the cirque.” There’s a roar, like that of a large, wild animal, and it’s so loud, it seems to rattle my bones. My heart pounds in my rib cage, but Spade simply smiles. His eyes seem to shift as he glances at the tent entrance. “Until then.” He leaves, disappearing quickly, and then there’s another sound from the animal, but it’s closer and happier—a chuff.
It’s the circus, I remind myself, but as I lie in bed, I can’t help wondering why I agreed so quickly and what that means for my future.
Having a choice is strange. Before, I knew I would die in that house, and part of me had even accepted I would be Roger’s punching bag until the day the darkness took me, but they gave me a choice tonight. I could have started fresh, I could have gone anywhere, yet even as I think that, the idea only fills me with fear. Here, in the one place where most people find thrills and strangeness, I feel at peace, at home like I did when I was a child. The feeling of safety fills my entire being, and it’s something so foreign to me, it’s difficult to accept. I don’t know if it’s the familiar smell of popcorn and cotton candy, the circus music, or simply the men who brought me here, but I feel safe.
Maybe that’s why I decided to stay so quickly, though I can’t discount the feeling that something within my soul answered before I could even consider the offer. Either way, I made my choice, and now I’m here. I don’t know what that means, but I’ll find out tonight at the ceremony. The mere mention of that causes something dark to unfurl inside me, something almost akin to excitement. How strange to feel so alive after being numb for so long. It’s as if some sleeping animal within me wakes.
Pushing that thought away as I relax back in the bed, I look around with nothing else to do.
