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When the door opens and I swing my legs out, the car is too low to the ground and I’m too round to get up without looking like I’m crawling out of a mud-wrestling pit. He smiles and extends his hands to lift me out. “Let me help.” Finally standing up with a lady-like grunt, I take a deep breath and thank him again.
Jared holds my hand for a few steps before the memory of Rafael’s confession strikes. You had no idea how bad I wanted to simply hold your hand in the hallway. Like a reflex, I retract my hand.
What happened tonight hurt Rafael, I know that. I should have handled it in a calm manner, but my emotions are all over the place lately. I hate this unhinged version of myself. I’m supposed to be a reasonable person. I’m well-educated and guide my patients into having meaningful conversations, but I still snapped. I don’t want to use my hormones as an excuse, but I was a completely different person back there. What I said needed to be said though. I know that.
Cora’s already standing in the doorway to her beautiful townhome when we climb the stairs.
“Thanks for bringing her,” Cora says before giving him a friendly hug. “It’s good to see you again, Jared.”
“It’s good to see you too, Cora.” He pulls back and looks between both of our prominent bellies. “Looks like a couple of best friends are making some best friends.”
A needed smile finally crosses my face as I lean in for a hug as well. “That’s the goal. Thanks again.” Before he backs away from the embrace though, he places a soft kiss on my cheek and all at once a flood of guilt hits me.
Dammit, I think to myself. Raf doesn’t have any claim on me. I’m not his. I’m free to let other men kiss me, as chaste as this is.
“Have a good night. And call me if you need me.”
I give him a short nod and step inside because if I open my mouth, I’m going to cry.
As soon as Cora shuts the door, I fall apart anyway.
“Oh honey, I know.” Cora holds me as fiercely as she can, our bumps bumping and our hands gripping the other for dear life.
It’s the kiss. It’s the guilt. It’s the heartbreak and fear of the unknown raining down on me. I want it to wash away everything in its wake and leave me new again. Leave me the girl I always wished I could be—the one who isn’t in love with her best friend.
But I know that’s not how this works. I’m going to let it all out and feel a sense of relief once the tears stop, but my mind will keep going until something new hits me and it’ll start all over again.
I’m vaguely aware of moving to the couch as I continue crying and a box of tissues appears. I’m overwhelmed with a menagerie of emotions including immense gratitude for Cora. I might be in total distress right now, but I haven’t felt this level of comfort all week.
Finally catching my breath and dabbing my face dry, I give Cora a weak smile. “Thank you.”
“Tell me what you couldn’t over text,” she says calmly and hands me a glass of water from the coffee table. I didn’t notice until now, but it’s covered in glasses of water, wine, chocolates, nuts and cheese.
“Wine?” I ask, a little confused.
“We’re allowed a little. Tonight seemed like that kind of night.”
“Bless you,” I whisper, grabbing the stem of the glass and taking a sip. Cora does the same. It’s only about four ounces, but I relish in it as the wine seeps into my tongue and stare blankly at the wall of books in front of me.
Right as I’m about to speak, my phone buzzes incessantly from my purse next to me. Pulling it out, I see it’s yet another call from Rafael which I send to voicemail.
“Is that him?” Cora asks.
“Yeah,” I sigh. “It’s the seventh call since I left. I should text him what’s going on.”
Angie: I’m at Cora’s. I don’t want to talk right now.
Instantly I get a reply back.
Raf: Do you need me to pick you up?
Angie: No. I’m staying here tonight. Maybe all weekend.
Raf: Please come home. Let’s talk about this.
Angie: Not now. I need space and I need you to respect that.
Raf: Ok. I’ll be here.
